I'm so sorry to be doing this to you. You've been a part of me my entire life and I feel as if I'm betraying one of my closest friends. And right now if I had the choice, he would be the one taken out of the house, not you. You will never understand how important you are to me. You are my first pet. The only pet that is really just mine. I'm sorry this has to happen. I hope you find it in yourself to forgive me, because if you don't, I don't think I could ever forgive myself. I'm so sorry I didn't take care of you better, but I think I did the best I knew how. Even though you hate most people and sometimes didn't really like me, I know we respected each other and I've loved you since the day I brought you home.
My stomach is in knots. I'm not even sure I can go through with this. Its not even my decision but I'm still sick about what I have to do. I mean, you were such an important part of my life. I got you right after my grandmother died. She loved cats and had two of her own. And when she was gone and I felt this emptiness in my heart you really helped me to cope because having a cat was like having a part of her still. And now I feel like I'm losing you both now.
While you were antisocial and didn't seem to like me much during the day, I knew you still did because at night when I would be sitting on the chair or when no one else was home and I'd nap on the couch, you would jump up on my lap or tummy and nestle into me and purr happily when I scratched your head. I'm sorry I couldn't do anything different.
You left us so suddenly December 30 2011, after less than two months when you came into my life. My heart and that of your beloved bunny gal Cinnamon are heartbroken. You brought us so much joy at a time when I needed it most. This was my first Christmas alone as I wait for my divorce to become final. I didn't think I would ever smile again, but you made me smile every day. Your blue eyes melted my heart every time I looked into them. When I walked by, I loved how you leapt onto your hind feet, seeking me out, wanting to be petted or held. You were a cuddle bun from the get-go through and through. Most importantly, you made my Cinnamon happy when I feared she never would be happy again, after losing Woodstock, the first love of her life back in July. Please look out for her from where you are. I fear for her. It is hard enough to lose one special being from your life; I can't even imagine losing two, in the space of only a few months.
I will always be grateful for your brief but brilliant and sweet presence in my life. I cry this as I write this; I don't know at this moment how I am going to get over this. I loved you the moment we met. Even before we met, when I saw your photo, I had this feeling you were one very special rabbit. I was right and Cinnamon knew it instinctively too and that is why you bonded so quickly.
Rest in peace, my sweet Boo. I know you knew how much you were loved. I am so glad we could give you a happy loving home for the last few weeks of your life. I am so glad you did not have to die at a rescue or in a home, neglected by those who had had no time for you. And I am so glad you got to know love from another rabbit for the first time in your brief life on this earth.
Paulette and Cinnamon
Dear Shilo's Evening Rebel,
It has been 7 years, 9 months and 17 days since you left us. I still cry for you daily. Although Simon saved my sanity and gave me something to hold on to, you can never be replaced. My grief was so strong I did not want another puppy, but your daddy knew best what I needed...as always. I just want you to know that I eagerly await our reunion, when all of us will be together and whole again. I love your visits in my dreams. I believe I can actually feel your little nose on my ankle as you speak to me...yes, you have a voice in my dreams. I give you the treat you ask for (cheese, of course, your favorite) and then you tell me that you will be back. I am fiercely protective of Simon, as you know. I am so afraid I will lose him as I lost you. Time was too short for you, my Shilo. I will never forget you and I will forever love you. Just remember the last words you heard..."Mommy loves you, Shilo. Mommy loves you."
Always, Shilo, always...Mommy loves you.
You had to leave us so fast it feels as if you are still here. I walk around the house and I feel you following me. I know you were a silly smelly dog, but I would give anything to smell your smell in the house again. I find signs of you everywhere. I see your toys, I hear the jingle of your collar, my daughter laughs at something that isn't there. I know you will protect her just as you always did before. Whenever she would cry, you would be there. Just like me. You were there for me whenever I would cry. We went through so many good and bad times together. You got me through it all. I was glad to be there with you near the end. Please help your Grandma. She is taking your passing really hard. We all love you so much. I just want you to be happy. We are keeping your favorite green puppy safe. I know how much you loved it. We miss you so much. It is not the same when we get home. We miss you jumping all over us. You were the best friend I could ever have. Thank you for being there for our family. You were part of our family and you will always be. From the first day I laid eyes on you I knew I loved you. Not just as a dog, but as my furry kid. I will show Quinn all of your pictures, and share all of the wonderful memories of you. Of the Elvis face you would make, how you loved to sniff her face, and how much you loved your girls (Grandma, me, and Quinny). I am letting you go Salem. You will forever be in my heart. I love you Bubba!
It's five days and three hours since you passed away in my arms. I miss you so much it hurts physically. You were my sweet, pretty girl - we found you and your puppies when you were roaming the streets more than 11 years ago. We found homes for your pups and you quickly settled in with us - but it took years for you to really relax. We got there, though, and we moved into a wonderful life together - you, your doggie "siblings" Cooper and Foster, myself and Baasje (Dutch for dog-daddy). When you were diagnosed with bone cancer almost six months ago and given two weeks to live we were devastated, but determined to make your last weeks the best possible. You kept surprising us, and we kept taking you new places - Starbucks, Three Dog Bakery, lakes and parks, Washington DC.... we learned you adored traveling as long as it was with us.
You started to decline faster a few weeks ago when you lost your ability to hobble (you could not walk well but hopped on three legs for months) and you could not hold your business anymore. We thought it would compromise your quality of life but you just looked at it as a way to give and receive more love. When we would change your diaper you would lie on your back, smile your beautiful doggie smile, and relish the extra attention and love you were getting. You taught me so much: how to be happy with what life gives you, how to live life in the present, how to be gracious and tender and courageous. You loved to be with us more than anything else. When you stopped eating and drinking last Thursday we realize your poor broken body was shutting down and you were going to suffer unless we helped you across the Rainbow Bridge. We took you to your favorite lake and I spent all afternoon hugging you, singing to you, cuddling you and you - you smiled your amazing smile and were happier than I have ever seen you. The picture with us shows your complete trust and your love with abandon - I cry every time I see it. Baasje and your doctor joined us there and you fell asleep in my arms, secure in our love, reveling till the end in the presence of your Vrouwtje and Baasje. I wanted to run away with you. I wanted to do anything except the horrible decision we had to make. I love you so much, and I miss you every second of every day.
You are and always will be my pretty girl. Please wait for me, I will come find you. Sweet Snowball, your love for us knew no bounds, and our love for you had no limits, either. We will carry on in your memory. We will go on "adventures" with Cooper and Foster, and we will cherish and celebrate your life. And one day we will be reunited. I just don't know how to make it until then.... the world is a darker place now.
it has been a year and a half since you left my side. i just want you to know that i miss you. you were the best dog i could have ever asked for you were taken to soon only 4 years old not nearly enough time with you. just wanted to write this letter and let you know that we think of you everyday gone but never forgotten. love you
I really miss you and I am really sorry I wasn't able to be with you when you were dying. I am so sorry we left you in America when we went to live in the UK, and I really wish we could have brought you with us. You would have hated it there. We didn't have a big house there and there was no land for you to roam and protect. Thank you for guarding our house and always greeting me when I came home from school. I miss your loud purring! I miss scratching you under your really soft chin. You were my brother and part of our family. We miss you so much. Our family was torn apart when you died. I miss feeling your claws kneading my legs and arms, and feeling you rub against my legs. I miss petting your soft head. I miss seeing you chase imaginary animals around the yard and up trees. I even miss seeing you catch grasshoppers. It is summer now and you would love the weather. You would be rolling in the red mud on your spot on our hill. I feel guilty because we left you in America and we don't know how you died. I hope you had a peaceful death and are at peace now. You taught me to love animals, especially crazy shelter animals who used to be strays. My dog, Duncan, used to be a stray too. There will never be another cat like you. You were original, and amazing and we loved you so much!
I waited a year to write this letter to you. A year ago today I lost the furry love of my life and my world was never the same again. I look back at that day and wondered what I missed, if there was something I could have done to prevent your passing. It was a sunny day and you were lying in a ray of sunlight, I rushed off to see a movie and when I looked back, we looked at each other and then I left. I don’t even remember if I told you that I loved you before going.
When I came home, you were curled up in your little pet bed beside my pillow and I couldn’t understand or process what was going on. Later, I felt so guilty for not being there for you. You were the most important part of my life, you knew when there was something wrong with me and I missed something that took you away from me. You died alone without your mommy in a place that usually brought you comfort when we slept at night.
As I took your little body to the animal hospital I just kept thinking of how much I would miss you. While the hospital took all of my information to process your cremation, I held on to you and buried my face in your fur, trying to breathe in your scent and remember it. When it was time to let you go, I couldn’t. I just sat there holding you.
I still miss you. I miss coming home and finding one of your toys left on my bed. I used to always think that was your gift to me. You knew I worked too hard and needed reminding to play every once in a while. I still can’t think about welcoming another cat into my home permanently – not just yet. It’s too hard. I volunteer now at the animal shelter where I adopted you and sometimes I foster the kittens that need a place to stay until they’re ready to find their humans to spend the rest of their lives with.
Even that decision was hard to make but the day I went to pick up my first batch of kittens, I came across your picture – the one used to advertise you for adoption. I used to joke that the photo was of a face only a mother could love because you looked so miserable in it, but when I saw that photo, I knew you had to be mine. When I found that picture, I took it as a sign from you that it was okay
It wasn’t fair that we only got to spend two short years together. I don’t know what your life was like before I adopted you, but I know what my life was like after I got you. Nothing ever seemed as bad because we were together. Please know that I will never forget you, I will always love you and I hope one day to see you again. You will always remain the furry love of my life.
We lost you today. Since we got you as a baby and thought of you as a baby, it never really occurred to us that you wouldn't outlive us. Parents don't outlive their children. I knew this morning that this would be your last day on earth and I watched everything you did. I have tried so hard to remember everything about you. You went very peacefully and I am so grateful for that. I know it had to happen, and I guess that you knew it, too.
I can't tell you how much the loss of you has devastated me. I see you everywhere. I hope you are happy and pain-free where you are now. Don't forget us. We will never forget you.
Summer's ending is quietly gathering now; she is soft pink skies in the evening, she is graceful and haunting, this gathering is my goodbye to Alaska. I am compelled to miss you, because I am leaving Alaska without you. I remember when we left for Alaska Betsy. It was cold. It was March. We were together. Friends picked us up in the evening. You and I said good bye to friends. We drove through the night to arrive at the Chicago Airport at 1:00 p.m. I had you and 2 suitcases. Our flight departure wasn't for hours. Our friend walked up to the check in counter and asked the airline personnel if I could keep you with me, my best friend. She said "Would it be ok for my friend here to keep her dog with her. Her flight doesn't leave for 7 hours and she is starting her life over today?" She looked at you and me, standing there together and said it would be fine. I sat in the Chicago Airport for 7 hours with you on my lap. We were starting over together. In moving to Alaska, I left everything behind except you. We were lucky to have this. You and me, every summer evening walk. Every moose encounter. The kindness of stangers to help a girl and her dog. Meeting a vet who finally cared about you as much as me. Alaska was so beautiful and kind to us. My heart is filled with sorrow that I had to say goodbye to you at all. But, leaving your ashes under that sweet tree in Kincaid park was meaningful. I miss your sweet face. I leave Alaska in a few days, because I will be without you...I am leaving everything I love here.
Rest Easy Girl.