My dearest Fawkes,

My bestest girl, my Fawkes

I know you hated me crying. You always brought me toys and licked my face when I cried. There's no one to do that now. I'm holding your leash, listening for your feet in the hall, listening for your happy barks, your joyous Roo when Daddy and I laughed hard at something. I keep waiting for you to jump up on the bed at night. You, my little demon dog, who would take on the whole world to keep me safe.

You were the best worst dog ever. You were my little beastie, my monster. You were my rock and my safety. You gave me freedom and life. You kept me safe from myself. You were my ever-present shadow, the wet nose to my calf, the stealthy lick to my knee that was always right where I was trying to be; my little visa. Coming home to the silence hurts so much more than I ever would have thought. Silence is no longer suspicious; silence is the sound of my soul breaking.

I know you would have kept fighting to stay, but I could see how bad it was. I could see how you were fighting your body to stay with me, and I had to let you go. I'm so sorry I couldn't fight off your cancer and make you better. I was selfish. I was scared. I didn't want to help you go because I couldn't bear the weight of the decision, but you wouldn't go. You wanted to protect me even when your little body couldn't. I know, with absolute certainty, that it was what you needed- so you could stop fighting yourself, fighting the pain. I don't regret the decision for you, never think that. I regret it because I feel like I gave up. I feel like I failed.

I would give anything to kiss your forehead, your nose, one more time. I don't have words to describe how my world shattered with your loss, but everything else has kept moving. Daddy has picked up your toys- He's still tripping over them in the dark. I have no doubt that there are still more to be found. He is trying his hardest to do your job, keeping me safe, watching for all the signs you taught him were important. You trained him very well, even with his clear limitations of being human instead of a mighty Corgums.

I meant everything I said the night before I held you on the grass in that little garden. I will love you forever. You will always be my darling girl. You will always be my heart.

Love always,

Mommy

To Hoss,

My best boy,

We had a lot of talks the two nights before you left me.I knew that this was going to be so hard on me but I always told you to let Mama know when you couldnt do it anymore and you had been telling me for a while but you made sure to stick around after Daisy passed to make sure I was ok.

I could not have asked for a better dog then I got with you, I hope you knew how much I loved you, at least I think you did as I don’t think I could have expressed it any differently.

I still reach for you at night to check and see if you’re ok and your kitty Pebbles misses being cuddled up next to you.

I saw you on the bed for just a minute after I got up in the middle of the night and then I realized you weren’t there.

I can’t help but miss you but I know you weren’t there exhausted and so very tired but you kept trying every day for me.

I hope one day I will be able to dwell on all our happy times instead of the sadness I’m feeling right now because my best boy is not beside me.

I need you to know that you filled my heart with so much love for 14 years that no one can ever give me.You truly were my once in a lifetime dog, my gentle giant, that little puppy that came to me at 6 weeks old and filled my life with so much love.

Mama loves you forever and I hope to see you again someday.

I love you with all my heart!!!

Love,

Rose Adams

Dear Leo Lilly,

The first time I saw you as a kitten in the street and I fed you with the other strays: I felt bad you were out there so I brought you a toy and you played with it. You watched for me and I kept feeding you. You were always with the other cat I planned to take. One day you came to the front door of my apt crying with another cat I had never seen and both of you needed help with your ears. I let you in and took you to the vet. I was supposed to set you free but I couldn’t. I took you to the vet again and got you on a plane with me. Unfortunately, a few months you got really sick and then got better and then suddenly you were dying. I knew it by looking at you. The long trip to the vet this time was agonizing. I am so heartbroken because I feel guilty somehow. I made the decision to let you go because the vet said outcome was grave and I didn’t want you suffering longer. I am sad and mad everything at once because I had plans for us that will never be. I’m so sorry Leonisa or my Leo Lilly how I ended up calling you. I set you free now. I will always love and remember you. Be at peace. Leo Lilly we all miss you but nothing can be changed. I planted wildflowers so I can sit and remember you when I sit outside.

Love,

The lady that yelled meow meows I have food, your mom

My sweet Tallulah,

When I lost my Sophie, I didn't think I could love a dog as much as her, but then you came along with your huge, goofy personality. You loved all of us so much, you were the happiest when every one of your people was home. You love car rides, running free and coming to work with mommy. It's only been 18 hours, and my heart hurts so much. I missed you this morning. I missed how happy you were to see me every morning. I missed your sloppy kisses, the way you lay on me and cuddled. I missed when I opened the bedroom blind, you running as fast as you could to check for squirrels. I missed you. Your dad just walks around crying, Kaie just lies in bed so sad. I had a hard time opening my office door today, knowing you were't with me. Your toys and bowls are just sitting there. I don't want to replace you, but I need that steady presence in my life. I know you told me last night you were okay and you loved me, you told me I was the best mommy, and I was. I love you, and you will forever be in my heart. You were the best dog!

Love,

Mommy

My sweet Scooter,

Seeing you creep across the yard, sneaking up on birds, rabbits or anything you could catch. Watching you play with your toy mice, carrying them in your mouth to plop them in your food or water dishes.. cuddling with me, giving me kisses. I'll hold those images dear to me for the rest of my life.

I'll treasure every moment spent with you because I knew never to take any of our moments together for granted. If you're lucky, you find that pet that's a once in a lifetime. Some bonds can't be replaced or replicated.

I am grateful that my memories of you warm my heart in its coldest, darkest moments. With any luck you died feeling the same way.

The heart remembers what the mind tries to forget.

I try to hide my struggle with losing you. To the outside world, I appear fine. But I don't feel like I'm actually present for it. I feel cold, distant and alone. Like I'm watching the world but not actually a part of it. I know someday I will learn to properly live with this loss but I don't even know how to start.

People say I will one day want to do it again; take a chance, get another cat, but no, I'm done. You were it, you were the best, and my heart is too badly broken to try again. It's like trying to put together a gjigsaw puzzle where the pieces are permanently gone. I couldn't do it because it just wouldn't be you. You were it. My once in a lifetime.

Love always,

Momma

My dearest quinchi,

my cutest dumbest baby. i will forever miss you. i still feel your presence wherever i go. in bed where i cry waiting for you to snuggle up next to my pillow. when i walk home and i see stray cats and i have to gather every bit of my willpower to walk away knowing that you wont be waiting at the door for me. writing on my desk thinking about how you were so curious about whatever's under it. staring at the mirror where i used to admire the way that you wouldnt leave my arms as long as i was scratching under your chin. even when im away from home and i remember that i wasnt there with you when you passed.

im sorry that i wasnt a better parent to you. i wish i never went to university. sometimes i wish that you were adopted by someone else so that they wouldve cared for you better than i could. i love you so much quinchi baby.

Love always,

gabby

Sweet Hamlet,

My dear Boy

Mommy loves you so much. My heart is broken and it seems that people diminish my grief because you are a dog. You were a guide to me. You were always there for me, you were never angry, you lay by my bed. At nights I could hear you breathing. You comforted me when I felt sad, when people were nasty you stepped in and licked my face. I called you Hamlet because you are and will always be royal. When I read Shakespeare to you fell asleep. You have always been on my side. When Mommy played the violin, you would rest at my feet, and I have been struggling to pick up the violin ever since. Mommy can't stop crying. And she must do her work. It's very silent and you loved Fleetwood Mac my boy. You would look at the world as if you were watching a beautiful film. You were the bravest gentlest creation I have ever known. You are magnificent. Like a King. I am looking for you everywhere - sometimes I think you are hiding. Mommy is so sorry that your daddy left. That he never gave you those three packets of dog food. That you help your paw to me and comforted me. Your body was so large. You are my unicorn. But your real daddy is with you now. You had so much pain. I wish I could have carried your pain. But you carried it for me. I know that you were never mine. That you were created by God. That you are lying with your creator and that He takes care of you. Mommy wrote a list last night. She wrote for my daddy to build you a castle, for Naomi to check if you are covered. I dreamt you were standing at a gate and asked mommy if you can go run. Go run my boy. My beautiful boy. Run with the angels. Run because you are free. Mommy is sorry she never got you the mansion you deserved on this planet. I would have loved to create a dam where you can swim every day. God took such good care of you. He told me you were on of his most masterful creations. Your heart. Your soul. My son. Mommy didn't have children. She had you. You taught me to be strong, but I struggle. May the water that runs from my eyes create a waterfall where you can swim. Mommy is working hard to join you there. She reads Psalms and prays. I know Jesus let you into my life...as a guide...as a support. You know mommy hates sleeping alone. I love you, my boy. My beautiful boy. Thank you. I miss you. So much. People have sent flowers to you. You love flowers. You loved sniffing them. Such big paws. " “Good night, sweet prince,

And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.” Run my boy. Run. Heaven. I know you are loving it there.

Love,

Mommy

Sweet Hamlet,

My dear Boy

Mommy loves you so much. My heart is broken and it seems that people diminish my grief because you are a dog. You were a guide to me. You were always there for me, you were never angry, you lay by my bed. At nights I could hear you breathing. You comforted me when I felt sad, when people were nasty you stepped in and licked my face. I called you Hamlet because you are and will always be royal. When I read Shakespeare to you fell asleep. You have always been on my side. When Mommy played the violin, you would rest at my feet, and I have been struggling to pick up the violin ever since. Mommy can't stop crying. And she must do her work. It's very silent and you loved Fleetwood Mac my boy. You would look at the world as if you were watching a beautiful film. You were the bravest gentlest creation I have ever known. You are magnificent. Like a King. I am looking for you everywhere - sometimes I think you are hiding. Mommy is so sorry that your daddy left. That he never gave you those three packets of dog food. That you help your paw to me and comforted me. Your body was so large. You are my unicorn. But your real daddy is with you now. You had so much pain. I wish I could have carried your pain. But you carried it for me. I know that you were never mine. That you were created by God. That you are lying with your creator and that He takes care of you. Mommy wrote a list last night. She wrote for my daddy to build you a castle, for Naomi to check if you are covered. I dreamt you were standing at a gate and asked mommy if you can go run. Go run my boy. My beautiful boy. Run with the angels. Run because you are free. Mommy is sorry she never got you the mansion you deserved on this planet. I would have loved to create a dam where you can swim every day. God took such good care of you. He told me you were on of his most masterful creations. Your heart. Your soul. My son. Mommy didn't have children. She had you. You taught me to be strong, but I struggle. May the water that runs from my eyes create a waterfall where you can swim. Mommy is working hard to join you there. She reads Psalms and prays. I know Jesus let you into my life...as a guide...as a support. You know mommy hates sleeping alone. I love you, my boy. My beautiful boy. Thank you. I miss you. So much. People have sent flowers to you. You love flowers. You loved sniffing them. Such big paws. " “Good night, sweet prince,

And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.” Run my boy. Run. Heaven. I know you are loving it there.

Love,

Mommy

Sweet Scooter,

You came into my life when I didn't even realize I needed you. As soon as we met, there was an immediate bond that time would never break. A bond that many hope for but few get to have. We soon became best friends. I never had a friend like you and I never will again.

We spent so many days together, doing what friends do. Whether it was watching baseball, sitting on the deck in the summer watching birds or our yearly tradition of watching The Puppy Bowl on Super Bowl Sunday. You were so funny and always happy and everyone who met you instantly became your friend too. We had 16 years of pure joy together.

When you became sick, I tried to prepare for a life without you but soon realized you leaving my life was too painful to acknowledge or prepare for. You own a piece of my heart reserved just for you. Only you; and I will never give that part away. I promise. Even though you are no longer here, you will always be with me. This isn't the end. You brought me more love than I ever could have imagined, and more joy that I could have ever hoped.

So all my love to you my best friend, my beloved Scooter; my cat.

Love,

Momma

To Mocha,

My sweetest, dumbest puppy

I thought I would have so much to say but I feel like I do not deserve to say anything

I was not as good a parent to you as I could have been

I am sorry

I am suffering too

Love,

Chris