Dear Kona,

Has it really been 10 days since I held you in my arms and heard you breathe your last breath?

In one way, it seems like it was yesterday. My emotions are still every bit as ragged and raw, and I still wake up nightly with my heart pounding and my adrenaline surging as if something terrible is wrong.

What’s wrong?!

And then I remember.

In another way, it seems like you’ve been gone much longer. When I think of you, I tend to remember the times before your back legs stopped working, before you couldn’t control your bladder or your bowels, before you became so vulnerable. Before we made that awful, but necessary, decision to free you from a physical body that was no longer able to keep up with your spirit.

For most of your life, you were strong and confidant and majestic. You could chase a coyote a half-mile to the top of a ridge at full speed and run back down again when you heard me calling you. You could hike up mountains, and run alongside my bike, and play at the dog park without ever getting tired. You were so proudly independent -- like a cat, we sometimes said about you. And although you were too proud to ask for attention, you sure loved getting it!

I never told you this before, but we brought you into our lives to help us deal with the death of our baby boy. I was pregnant for 22 weeks when I went into labor on our honeymoon in Hawaii. When we came home, we were very, very sad that we couldn’t bring our boy with us. Your dad said that maybe getting a puppy would make us happier, because then we’d have somewhere to put all the love that we had been saving up for a baby. I wasn’t so sure, but he convinced me to at least consider it.

Once we took one look at you, we knew it was the right decision. You were gorgeous, with expressive brown eyes and little tufts of fur framing your ears. But it was your gentle spirit, sweetness and intelligence that really made us fall for you. We named you Kona, a Hawaiian word, which means “wind from the west.”

I'm so grateful to your dad for bringing us together, because you made it possible for me to care again. I soon came to realize that inside that fluffy, white body was an old, wise, nurturing soul who loved me unconditionally. Sometimes it actually felt like you carried the spirit of my little boy inside you.

And now that you’re gone, I’ve lost you both.

For more than 15 years, our identities were linked. You were woven into my DNA like my hair color and eye color. Without you, I don't know who I am anymore. I've heard it said that losing someone you love is like losing a limb. Without you, Kona, it's worse; I’ve lost my heart.

I’m grateful we had time together that last day. Those minutes when I was spooning you by the fire were so precious. And that look you gave me when the girls brought you up the driveway in the wagon: ears up and pulled slightly together; eyes bright, alert and focused directly on me. It was the same look that melted my heart countless times before. Pure adoration. Pure joy. Pure love.

I dreamed about you the other night. Your dad and I were visiting a dog pound, standing in front of a large, elevated platform enclosed by a chain-link fence. Inside were about 20 dogs, sitting along the back wall as if they were in a police lineup. There was one white dog that caught my eye. Then I realized... it was you. We made eye contact and you ran over to me. We touched through the fence. You licked my hand. And then you gave me that look.

I told the man in charge that you were mine and I wanted to take you home. He said, “Fine, but you’ll have to wait until 6:00.”

What? Why do I have to wait until 6:00?

“That’s the time when we can check them out.”

Oh, please! Let me take him now!

“No, you’ll have to come back at 6:00.”

We had to leave, so we did. To pass the time, we went for a drive. We kept checking our watches, but the hands never seemed to move.

When will it be 6:00?

Then I woke up. Sweating, heart pounding, adrenaline surging…

What’s wrong?!

Oh, yeah.

Love,

Shari

Dear Elwood,

It's been a while now since I lost you. Your death was sudden and shocking. You were young and healthy when you woke up that morning. The vet explained that it was autoimmune hemolytic anemia. He said he could treat it, but that didn't feel right. I had only minutes to decide, but I've gone over those minutes many times in the last two and a half years. I think it was the right decision. You had so many mysterious health problems that I think it would have affected your quality of life if I had accepted treatment. I believe more than ever that it was better for you to let you go when I did, before you really, truly suffered.

But it is your life I want to write about: your wonderful life. You were such a thoughtful, caring dog. I never thought an animal could be so generous, or so considerate. Thank you so much for taking of Spider when he was a kitten. You made such a difference in his life. Do you know that he looked under the covers for you every night for six months after you went to the rainbow bridge? And he never slept there again. I think in some way he still misses you. But I also believe that he learned from you how to be a friend. He is very patient with all the other cats.

I had known that dogs are good companions, and I have loved all the dogs in my life. But you were my best friend, Elwood. You and I shared some kind of bond that I've never had with another dog.

You were so lucky, Elwood. Even though you had only five years on this Earth, you got to have two forever homes. I hope you remember your first mother, Annie. She was very upset to hear that you were gone. I sent her my favorite pictures of you, and I made sure to send the ones of you and Spider together. She loved those.

Thank you for your companionship, and for your friendship. And thank you for all you taught me about life, and love, and family. I will remember it always, and you are always in my heart. But you knew that already, didn't you?

Love,

Mim

Dear Toby "Tobias" Jean,

Ever since the first day I met you, I knew you were a special guy. After what your previous owner put you through, the pain you were in, and a big bullet hole in your face, it didn't take any time at all for your mother and I to fall in love with you. As you healed up and we fought for your life in court, you proved that unconditional love is still possible. Even when you were fight against cancer, you never gave up on us. You kept playing with your toys, popping your balls (which by the way are still in the yard waiting for you), you fought to stay alive so you could give us happiness. And you did just that. You brought so much love and happiness to our lives. I only wish you could have stayed here with us longer. You will never be forgotten, You will always be missed. Say hi to Meisha for us and keep Spanky out of trouble. We love you Tobias.

Love,

Dad

Dear Pluggyboy,

My beloved, my dearest sweetest little baby boy! We rescued and found more love than we could have ever imagined. We knew you were full grown but didn't care. You gave us more love and affection and I still to this day cannot understand why your previous owner gave you up. But, I hate to say it, Boy, am I glad they did!!! Because WE got you. And loved you until the day you passed. We loved to cuddle in bed in the covers with you, all we had to say is "go nite nite" and you ran to the bed wanting to get in your stop. We laughed at your playful bouts you would have and especially your toys. All I had to say is the word "toy" and you would go crazy. We must have purchased over $10,000 for toys at Walmart. Only latex toys you would play with. Sometimes I had to hunt and hunt for them to buy when Wallyworld would be out. When we walked through the door, we had to have a plastic bag with a toy in it just for you. You would go crazy and tear that bag up to get at the toy. We have a video of you wanting a toy and showing me where they were. You knew exactly where I hid your toys. It is my prize procession. I am so glad I was at home when you had your heart attack. I held you in my arms and comforted you until you passed. It was so sudden I did not know what was happening until it was all over in a matter of minutes. I truly thank GOD I was at home when HE decided to take you. You came to me because you didn't feel good and wanted to be picked up and loved which I did until you passed in my arms. I kept telling you I loved you and it was okay to go. You looked at me with those big brown eyes until they closed and I knew you had passed when you stopped breathing. We will always love you the most, you were our babyboy, our sweet baby Pluggyboy. RIP my sweet, sweet, baby, Pluggyboy. I love you. Momma and Daddy

Missing You,

Momma and Daddy

Dear Kaiser,

Its been 2 years now since you've been gone but seems like it could have been yesterday. I try not to let my heart hurt so much but its hard when you best buddy has been taken away too soon.

I often think of you and how long its been since I've been to you favorite dog park. We had so much fun together and whenever I was sad or upset, you always knew how to get me to feel better.

Alan says hi and he wants you to know he's taking care of me. I remember when he first started sleeping over, you wouldn't have it! You would creep up in between us, like if it was to prove a point :no one sleeps with my mom, except me!"...it always makes us laugh.

I miss your kisses, you talking "fits", the face you made when you had done something bad and your cuddles. I haven't been able to find another "fur"ever friend, I guess my heart isn't able to yet. I do know that you pushed me to explore the outdoors and find my true self. I love you for it my friend!

See you someday!

Love,

Mom

Dear Mr. Weenie,

We miss you. I have a lot of regrets during that time that I cant shake. Leaving you at the vet when you were hurt to go to my sisters wedding. I thought we would come back and see you again. You must have been scared and lonely. The thought of you feeling like we abandoned you there torments me. That you may have thought we didnt want you anymore hurts me still. I wish we could have seen you once more before you left us. To comfort you and hold you.

When our mom found out she was devestated by your passing. She cried for a long time and she doesnt usually cry. She cried your name. Even dad was sad for you. We all thought we would have so much more time with you and that youd be with us for the rest of your life, which you were, but not long enough.

When you were injured I wish we had noticed sooner. But you layed in your bed and didnt make a noise. You were a tough a little dog. When brother noticed the blood on your other side...we took you to the vet and he wasnt there and we were turned away! You were bleeding out and i was so so upset I could scream. So we had to take you to another vet that we didnt care for so much.

To leave you there was a tough decision. To leave to another state while you were there was even harder. of course we thought youd make it...

I loved snuggling with you under the covers, playing fetch and tug of war with socks. The daycare kids were sad when they found out you had died. You were like a kid in the daycare too...a buddy a freind.

The vet wanted to creamate you but I couldnt let them do that. We brought you home to us. We took the IV's out of you...and cleaned you up. Then we buried you in moms garden that you loved soo much. Under the sunflowers in the shade where you would lay every summer and watch mom garden.

You are always with us in our hearts and memories. We did not abandon you Mr Weenie, brother tots, we love you and miss you every day. Daisy missed you too. She lays in your bed now and plays with your toys. I love you. We love you always and forever and ever.

Love,

Sister

Dear Keymo,

Oh fuzzy puppy life isn't the same without you around I'm sure it is alot more quiet for everyone. I can still hear your nails clickingon the flooring as you walk and the usual wooooooooooooowooooooooooo when you had something important to say. The way you used to nuzzle your head in between our legs and wait for a good rubbin. A awsome watch dog and great camping companion! Our last outing was fun the dog park, the sunny car ride and the visit to grama's house and the treats. You sure were a tough old girl and got in some good time almost 15 yrs.

Miss you and watch your videos often, they make me smile.

LOVE MOM

Love,

mom

Dear Coco,

It's been four days since you passed away. Everyday I wake up and look over to where you use to sleep next to me and my heart breaks each time that you're not there. We shared 18 wonderful years together and that time together means more to me than I could ever express in words. There are so many things that I will miss about you. I will miss the sound of your nails clicking on the kitchen floor. I will miss how you use to wait for me outside of the washroom. I will miss how you use to follow me around the house. I will miss the sound of your purr and your beautiful, expressive eyes. I will miss how you use to sit by the fire that we lit only because it made you so happy. The list is long and continues to grow each day. You were a huge part of my life and I will always love you. Miss you, my dear little friend.

Love,

Natalie

Dear Raggs,

I miss you so much I can't believe it's been almost 2 months since you left me. You were my "baby man", "my boy", "my Raggsie". You came into my life just over 2 yrs ago at the age of 12 yrs. You had spent 2 yrs being bounced from a boarding kennel to a shelter, then finally into rescue with your friend. You came to me from there. You filled my life with love and joy, and the 4 kitties miss you too, especially Smokey. He is still looking for you, hoping you'll come back to love him. I hope I made the right decisions during your last week, in hindsight, I wish I'd made different ones, but I doubt they would have changed the outcome. You died here at home, surrounded by your cat famiily and human family. I didn't want you to die alone in a vet hospital, you were my beautiful boy, irreplaceable. You were a beautiful soul, I won't ever forget you. I wish I had also been given the chance to get to know your sister, Muggs. but God had other plans for her and called her home at the time of your adoption. I pray that you have been reunited with Muggs and Fr Leo across the rainbow bridge

Love,

Mommy

Dear Chloe,

One year ago today I let you go.

One year.

It has been a very difficult year and it has taken me this long to face writing you this letter.

I know it was time and that your little body was failing you in a way that I still can't comprehend, but saying goodbye to you was one of the hardest things I have ever done. The loss has left me with a hole in my heart that I know will never be completely healed.

I am doing my best to keep my promise to you that I would only remember you happy and healthy. It helps to focus on your smile, or remember the way you would howl like a fool at any squirrel or bird who dared cross your path. I keep close my memories of you and Murphy chasing each other in the yard, or the way you would sit at the base of the tree for what seemed like hours, watching for the squirrel you chased up it moments before. You sitting by the window, ever watchful and alert to the world outside. Your beautiful eyes that always looked so sad. I miss your lovely, little face, and the way you would snuggle up to me on the couch and nudge my hand with your nose when you wanted to be petted. This is how I choose to remember you, and focusing on these memories helps a little with the pain of losing you. The pain will fade, but the memories will last.

One year but it still feels like yesterday that you were here, a complete part of my life. I will never forget you, or let my memories of you go. You will always be a part of who I am, and who I become. You will always be the sweetest, most loving creature I have ever known. You were completely selfless, and you didn't deserve what happened to you. I am so fortunate to have had you as a part of my life. I hit the jackpot with you and I will never forget that, or stop being grateful for you. As much as it hurts, the memories of 11 wonderful years are worth the price.

Rest in peace, sweet girl.

I love you, forever and always.

Love,

Mom