This letter from Bekah to China Blue was written on Thursday, August 2, 2012

Dear China Blue,

My Chi~girl ! Wow, baby, I really miss your loving force in the world. I miss our long walks with your mama, Aja, I miss your doggy-dreams, & fur all over the house... I miss even your growls when I tried to find a place in the bed for me beside you two ! My speckled girl, we had great times with Aja at the lake in Chicago, & playtime with you was serious - balls, frisbees, rope-bones. I remember one of your favorite things to do was herd all the other dogs, the Aussie Shepherd in you ! I remember so well, realizing when Aja was pregnant - she was the quintessiential mother, loving all of you pups dearly. We were blessed with your presence as well, my love. I had made the decision to keep the last pup with your mom & me, & you were amazing ! So different with your beautiful black & white markings, & beautiful spots, softest fur like your mama; inside you two were peas in a pod, so alike in so many ways. You girls always let me know you were on my side, you totally had my back from the very beginning. What I would have done without you both, Goddess knows. I miss you girls' sweet kisses, & the scent of your fur. Well, dear, I thought you were pregnant at 9 yrs, for the first time. I was quite surprised... You started slowing down on walks, plus it was really warming up for May in AZ. We had a vet appt, & our vet said if we waited another week for your ultrasound, we might see puppies, & how many there were. A few days later, a Sat. morning, I came out with my coffee first thing, & checked on you. You sat by the back door, panting, & I thought, oh , maybe it's today, time for your puppies to be born. I had to work a few hours, so left you in the care of a friend. When I returned, still no puppies, yet, & you wanted only bits of ice/water, which were coming back up. Almost an hour later, I decided to take you to the emer-vet, & make sure there wasn't something wrong. You did NOT want to go... I don't blame you, so much pain you must have been in. Once there, they did their tests, & told me you were not pregnant, but you had some fluid filled sacs in your belly, were dehydrated, in a lot of pain. Some major kind of infection inside you, & offered to euthanize you. No ! I couldn't allow that, we had our reg. vet appt for Tues, just a few days. I wanted to bring you home, whatever meds/painkillers you needed, & thought you would be 'ok'. So, that's what we did. Barely got the first set of meds down you... you lay on the floor, panting, uncomfortable, unable to sleep (since 6am), moving to a new floor spot here & there. I was exhausted, lay down for a short nap. Woke around 2a, sat with you, rubbed you gently, gave you kisses, spoke with you; read you from a book for a bit. Lay down for a while next to you, to comfort you, prayed to Great Spirit to not let you suffer, keep hurting like this. I didn't know how we'd make it til Tues. Fell asleep again around 6:30 am, was awakened by a friend, "China's gone..." she said. It didn't compute. I stammered, but I was just awake with her, how did this happen so fast... ? Apr 28, 2011, you arrived at the Rainbow Bridge, my dear. Your infection had gone septic, & in hindsight, I'm glad you didn't suffer longer than that ~24 hrs. I couldn't bear it. Bless your heart~ I always thought Aja would be first to pass, & we'd have plenty of time to enjoy on our own. Did you ever really have me all to yourself ? As a wee little lassie pup, you won my heart, & this woman loves & honors you for all you are & were. Until we meet again... Namaste'

Love,

Bekah

This letter from Bekah to Aja D'Elle was written on Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Dear Aja D'Elle,

Mama~Girl, I miss you so, terribly. It has been 3 mos since you crossed over, & I'm lost. I'm so very thankful we had 14 1/2 yrs together, love, you were & are amazing in my mind. Such a sweet, gentle soul.. the genteel lady, graceful, & loving almost everyone you met. The eternal greeter ! I remember that day I met you in Lawrence, KS, the college kids were trying to find you a home, & had locked their keys in their car, so I got to hold you... you fell asleep in my arms. Tiny lil black velvet girl, dark shiny eyes, little warm-wet nose... you slept with me later that night snuggled under my chin in bed. I was wrapped right around your wee paw, darlin. Then from the farm in KS, to KC, & North Carolina, where at 4, you got pregnant with the neighbor dog, & brought me your sweet daughter, China Blue, to love, too. You taught me so much about opening my heart, full throttle. And forgiveness, & unconditional love. My life has been so sweetly & beautifully, & irrevocably altered because of you two, my precious Girls ! We have been through SO many adventures together, on our journey, & you made it possible for me to make it through whatever it was that wasn't right at the time. I miss your bright, intelligent eyes, your telling barks, our snuggles in bed, holding & kissing you, your nails clicking on the floors, the scent of you - I liked to sniff your ears, b/c they smelled like 'home' to me... I had pretty much assumed you would 'go' first, but China paved your way a year ago. Then in Jan., I knew something was off with you; less energy, not eating as usual. In Feb. the vet did a CBC, & we had you on thyroid meds. In March, I had noticed the growth on your nose & forehead, & the vet did an xray to rule out cancer, but that determined what was indeed happening in your aging body. I just didn't want you to suffer needlessly, & we talked & cried a lot together, processing what was coming. Then my sister/your Auntie's visit from Chicago for 2 wks, when I left you in the care of vet-boarding for my first trip to the Grand Canyon. I had never boarded either of you girls, & it took me a few days to acclimate to the guilt of having done this to you at this critical time in your life. Please forgive my error in this decision - I would never want you to feel I had abandoned you... I asked Great Spirit/the Goddess to be with you, until I was back (barely 3 days), & for you not to pass alone, somewhere unfamiliar. You waited for me/us... We picked you up at boarding, & they carried you to the car on a stretcher. All the way home, I spoke softly with you, holding your paw, & reaching over to give you kisses, & smell your warm fur. Sweet Angel of mine, you passed less than 2 hrs after we got home. Several times I snuggled you, & spoke gently with you, but I didn't know your time was so imminent. I really wanted to just lay on your bed with you, & encircle you with my~self, loving you. The last time I came to check on you again, I saw that you were gone already. You were flying to the Rainbow Bridge & beyond, & China Blue was the first to greet you there, I'm certain ! It is a blessing to know you're not suffering anymore. Emotionally, I'm still in shock, especially with China's sudden passing last year. It's so lonely now, just me. I know I will bring other dog(s) into my life when I feel I'm ready; couldn't NOT. We shared a deep, soul connection , my love. When it is my turn one day, I know I will hear the thumping of a tail on the floor, & we can go dancing off through the meadows altogether at long last ! Goodbye my sweet baby~girl, I love you forever & beyond ~ <3 XOXOXO

Love,

Bekah

This letter from Mama to Kalo was written on Sunday, July 22, 2012Kalo

Dear Kalo,

Kalo, you have been gone for almost 3 months and it still puts a physical hurt in my chest. I don't think I can ever get over you and the way you passed. It will always haunt me.

Your mama and daddy had another litter of pups the day before you passed and God sent me a sweet little angel to help with the pain. Her name is Shayla and she is such a sweetie, just like you. But I hold her and cry for you. I love her very much, but am having a really hard time with your death.

I miss our cuddle time and your funny antics. I hope you have found the peace you were looking for. Love and miss you buddy.

Missing You,

Mama

This letter from Momma to Boo Boo Kitty was written on Sunday, July 22, 2012

Dear Boo Boo Kitty,

Where do I begin? I know that you are in a better place and no longer suffering. But it is still so difficult for us when we put down the breakfast/dinner plates for everyone, to realize there is one less eater. You have been gone for 5 months and although time has passed, the loss has not. You see, everyone thought we (Daddy and I) were crazy for having two large dogs and 6 cats (including you). There was no possible way we could love and give enough attention to you all. But we know each and everyone of you and your personalities, and it hurts not to have your sweetness around. You helped Daddy through his darkest hours when he was battling his demons and you inspired him to continue moving forward, even though it was a most difficult road for him. Something my love and understanding was not able to do for him. But a little loving creature, as you were, was able to help him move mountains, even when he didn't want to. We literally picked you up off the street when you were well into your years, and although everyone likes to remind us we made your last few years happy, all we can say is that you made our lives complete. So, as we put down only five plates for the rest of your kitty siblings to eat, and 2 for your doggie siblings, I want you to know not a day goes by we don't think of you. And the only thing we hope is that we made your life as full as full can be, since you did the same for us. See you at the Rainbow Bridge my girl!

Love,

Momma

This letter from Christina to Chief was written on Friday, July 13, 2012Chief

Dear Chief,

I never planned on getting a dog that day I went to the SPCA with my sister....but the moment I saw you there I KNEW you were meant to be with me. I left you there that day but could not stop thinking about you, and ultimately my heart guided me back to you. 1 day before you were to be euthanized due to the crazy fact that no one else wanted to adopt you, you came home with me. And from then on, we lived 12 wonderful years together!!!!!

From the start, it was just me and you Chiefy. Then came the rest of our family......Jamie, Mateo and Kingston.

You and I had some crazy adventures together, there were so many times that you should not have made it home, chasing coyotes, bears, motorbikes, running off into the mountains doing what you LOVED to do....run free. But Chief you always came back to me, always. I'm so happy that we had such adventure. I hope you enjoyed it all. And please know I did everything I could to give you the best life possible. You came first bud.

Despite all the odds of your wild ways, you lived to be 13. It was so hard when we first noticed you getting stiff and sore after a long walk, and for the next 3 years we watched you slowly be able to do less and less untill the day came where you could hardly go out for a walk at all. Knowing how much you loved to be outdoors, it killed me to go out with Kingston and leave you at home. I felt so much guilt, and I still do. Even when you did go out and it was so hard for you to walk, you still had the drive and tried so hard to chase the kong, or play with Kingston. We knew that with your will and determination you would never totally give up. You were such a proud dog.

Chief you and I had a very special bond right from the moment we met eachother, and that bond can never be broken. You were my first real, true love. I miss you so much. It was so hard to make the final decision, i struggled with it so much, it killed me and it still does...but deep down I know that you couldn't go on anymore, it was just getting worse and it wasnt fair to keep you around for my own selfish reasons. I am so happy that you passed peacefully at home, in your bed, with me holding you. I hope you know that I did this, the hardest thing I have ever had to do, out of love and only love.

I asked you to give me a sign when you got "there", told you to knock something down...and you did knock that picture of you and Benson down, didn't you? I'm so happy to know that you two best buds are together again.

I love you so much Chief, and I am so heartbroken to be here at home without you physically here with me. Your presence is so greatly missed. There will never be one day where I don't think about you or miss you. I know you are running around somewhere, with Benson, pain free, and happy. And one day, we will meet again and I can't wait to wrap my arms around you. I love you so much, you have brought so much happiness into my life.

Hugs and kisses my Chiefy chooka.

Love,

Christina

This letter from Momma to Roxy was written on Thursday, July 12, 2012

Dear Roxy,

The day I met you at the shelter I knew you won my heart! You had already been adopted and returned so it was fate that you chose me! Your passing was difficult to accept. The cancer finally won out, and we could do no more. It would have been selfish to keep you alive for our benefit. I did not want you to suffer any longer. You were still walking with your head held high when you went into the vets office. Your tail never stopped wagging. When you came out, your paw was shaved, there was an IV inserted and you were very drugged. I had one split second to tell her not to put you down. I remained silent. I knew it was for the best. Your head became heavy in my hands, your breathing ceased, and your body limp. I knew you were gone, but didn't want to accept it. Please forgive me for putting you down. I apologize for doing this to you, and when we meet again, I hope you will run up to me and wag your tail once more. No more pain, no more cancer, just fun, biscuits, and lots of other friends to play with. I miss you with all my heart Roxy!

Love,

Momma

This letter from beth weaver and denise to Hampton was written on Monday, July 9, 2012Hampton

Dear Hampton ,

We miss you dearly and wish you are safe in heaven with Pushkin and we love you

Love

beth Ann weaver and mckenna Evangeline weaver and maybe Denise too

:)

Missing You,

beth weaver and denise

This letter from Gramma (Amy) to Buck was written on Thursday, July 5, 2012Buck

Dear Buck,

I don't really know what to say. I have been pretty much numb since you left. You were such a huge part of my life, that now I don't even know what to do with myself. I still keep thinking you are here, and that I need to be home in time for your medicine, and not make noise after dark so I won't wake you while you are getting much needed sleep. I can't believe you are gone.

I know that you are with Tilly now, and that gives me some comfort. We both loved her so much. I just wish her loss hadn't had such a life changing effect on you. I miss her too, but hoped you and I could make it through to happier times. You, apparently, just wanted to be with her. I get that.

I knew we were in trouble when you quit crowing when she died. Then, the tumor started to grow. I hoped we could beat it, but then the others showed up. The vet said people just don't even try to fight cancer in chickens, so he didn't know if it would work or not. I held out hope. I would do it again.

I love that you still gave me love and affection even when you must have felt crappy. I love that you were so patient with me when I had to give you medicine. I love that you were still your loving snuggly self with me, even though I know you were mourning her loss. I miss these things. I don't know how to go through a day without them anymore.

People didn't get it when Tilly died, and they are actually sort of avoiding me now that you are gone too. I know I am not my usual cheerful self, but I have suffered the loss of both you, and your beautiful friend. If you had been dogs or cats, they would get it. But, since you weren't, I am just some weird person who loved "irrelevant and stupid animals that deserve whatever treatment they get" (yes, someone actually said that). You and Tilly were hugely relevant in my life, and will always be.

I hope that you and Tilly are together, and loving each other like you did here. I hope that you both remember your time here with me fondly, and that I get to see you again some day. I know that I will never forget you, and that I look forward to that day. Until then, I hope that it just gets to the point where I don't feel like crying all the time, and just rest in the comfort that you both are happy now, together.

People keep asking me if I will get more chickens. I just don't know. I know that I am one of the few people that understand what wonderful sentient beings you are, but I can't even believe how painful this whole thing has been. I would not trade one minute of the time I spent with you for anything, but I have this huge hole in my heart now. I guess time will tell. For now, I try to honor your memory, and make it through one day at a time. I miss you something fierce, and will remember you forever as my little fuzzy chicken buddy. Please know that there was nothing I wouldn't have done to save you. Sadly, it was not to be.

Give Tilly a kiss for me buddy. I miss you both, and always will.

Love,

Gramma (Amy)

This letter from ES to Taxi was written on Saturday, June 23, 2012

Dear Taxi,

You were not my horse, and I didn't know you all that well, but you were a very sweet horse and I hope you know that you were loved by many. That morning that Gene took you away, I don't know where he took you, nobody told me and Bonnie was too upset for me to ask her, so I can only hope and trust that it was a nice end for you. You lived a good 30 years, and you were always so gentle with those little kids on your back. I'm sure Carol was there waiting for you at the gates of heaven though, and I wouldn't be surprised if now she's teaching kids up there to ride. I can see them sitting there on yours and Jessie's backs as Carol instructs them on how to hold the reins from the back of her beloved horse who passed years ago. So have fun up there buddy, I'm sure god gives you all the carrots you could ever ask for.

Love,

ES

This letter from Sissy to Skye was written on Saturday, June 23, 2012

Dear Skye,

It has been so long since you left me, and I miss you so much. I can't believe that I haven't run my fingers through your beautiful fur in over a year now and it hurts me to know that I won't be able to do that in a long time. I will see you again someday in heaven, but that is a long time from now. I am starting to train keyko on agility and she is getting quite good. I only wish I could have tried it out with you. You would have loved agility...... Well maybe not the weave poles but you would have aced everything else. We are moving from our house to a smaller place and that too is very sad, since we have lived here for 13 years now. I had to take my painting of you down from my room as well as all of my horse posters. I love you sooooooo much Skye, I miss your floppy ears and your golden fur, your boundless energy and your perfect paws. Don't forget about me Skye, I will never forget about you.

Love,

Sissy