Dear Thumbalina,

I am sorry I didn’t know you had FeLV until it was too late. You are such a pretty kitty, in fact the most special animal I’ve ever had in my entire life.

You were so full of love, never bit anyone, except the lady who was force feeding you when we didn’t know what was wrong.

You were so full of life up until a week ago. You deserved so much better, yet even while I yelled “I don’t want you to die girl” non stop sobbing my eyes out you were drunk kitty walking to show me your strength and you were laying on me pushing your paws on my face to get my attention away from the fucking sadness.

I know you missed salem girl, I put you to rest with him outback where your brush I brushed you with until they put you down is buried so you can feel like a pretty kitty one more time. I hate the fucking world right now, I needed you still Thumbalina and you didn’t deserve to die like that.

Thank you for showing me what true strength is. Even with a hermacrit of 6, you were a walking fucking miracle. Especially because you held on for one more selfish night for me.

Rest easy pretty kitty. I don’t believe in the afterlife or religion much, if at all. But if there is an afterlife please be there to greet me on the other end of the kitty rainbow before they send me to burn in hell alone.

Love,

JJ

My sweet Missy Moo,

It's been a year and a half since you left us. Not a single day goes by that I don't think about you. I miss you so very much. You were the sweetest dog and you were my heart. I am so sorry I couldn't make you better. And, I'm so sorry things were so hard for us. Mommy did the best she could but I know I probably could have done better. I know for sure though I couldn't have made it through the hard times without you. You always had kisses for me and you gave me a reason to want to stick around. I miss you so much. The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing that you are with Jordan, Butters, Mama, Buttons and Eddie and I know Jordan is spoiling you rotten. He loved you so very much and I know that you are all looking down on us here and waiting for the time when we can all be together. I just wish you could be here now to meet your brother Booger. He is such a good boy and so sweet just like you. He had big paws to fill but he does his best! The two of you would be best of buddies I think. Please know that mommy is always thinking of you and will always love you.

Missing you,

Kathryn Lea Christie

Sweet Navy,

it hasn't even been a week since you left. cancer was eating away at you and we had to stop the pain somehow – you couldn't get up to greet us, you couldn't walk, you couldn't play. seeing you like that has broken my heart. letting you go wasn't nearly as hard as watching how the disease took your life away so quickly.

your daddy is devastated. i am heartbroken and hurting. you meant so much to us.... we were a big pet family but you were the core. without you, everything has shifted, everything is unrecognizable. the coming weeks and months, we just have to get used to this new life without you in it – and it all seems hollow and sad.

you were kind, patient, calm, gentle, sensitive – and silly, playful, goofy, a grinning fool, romping through snow like a puppy, even with your bad hips. i love dogs and i've known many but you were a milestone. there will always be a "before" and "after" for our time together.

i cry still, but i don't want to. i want to forget the cancer and the last few weeks when we struggled to keep you comfortable. i want to remember the other eleven-and-a-half years that were the best in our lives. your daddy and i took you on road trips, bought a house, got married, adopted other dogs to keep you company, we built a humble little life with you. navy, you were so loved.

if there is a dog heaven, i know what you're doing.

you're collecting toys and sticks, you're off-leash and romping hard, you're throwing your weight into my lap with a heavy sigh, you're staying up until 2 a.m. at one of our dinner parties, you're waiting outside the dollarstore for me to bring out a stuffy toy for you, you're pulling my glove off my hand so you could carry it home for me, you're grinning at me from across the room, you're asleep with your tongue out, you're falling behind on our hikes, you're looking at me when i'm babbling to you, eyebrows furrowed, wanting desperately to understand. i was only ever saying i love you.

and you're sitting at the door, waiting to see us again.

Love,

mommy

Sweet Navy,

You started limping on a Saturday morning in January. The night before, you romped with your brother and sister and tried, like you always did, to dig a hole in the ice. Then just you and I went out to meet mommy at the bus stop and you were a puppy again in how excited you were to see her. You were wearing the doggy shirt your mommy got you for Christmas with that silly picture of me on it, and I was wearing the silly shirt mommy got for me two years ago with your smiling face on it. Off Leash and Rompin' Hard it says.

I remember the day your mommy got you for me. Mommy had asked me to come over after work and I thought you were an inquisitive cat from a distance. When I realized saw you weren't a cat, and instead the best dog ever, I thought 'that's awesome, Nina got a puppy.' When she told me you were for me, I dropped to my knees and gave you the biggest kiss and I never stopped smiling for the rest of your life.

We spent a special year together in that apartment near Maple Leaf Gardens, just you and me. We watched Star Trek together all the time. You destroyed that ugly blue couch — I remember coming home from work and the parquet floor all over our place was obscured by polyester fluff, like you evenly distributed it all. You looked at me like, 'what? you were gone.' I remember those days waking up to you gnawing on my hand-made side tables in bed — you always slept at the head of the bed. I loved every second.

Soon enough mommy and Calvin were around a lot more and then we all moved in together in that apartment on Cosburn. You had to move to the bottom of the bed, I'm not sure if you ever forgave mommy for that. Every party we had always ended the same, with a few drunk people congregated around you, wide awake and getting pets. You always stayed with us to the end, even when you cut your paw while we walked to the wine store and it wouldn't stop bleeding. Emma picked you up half-way through the party when the VEC said you could come home and even though you were dazed on the drugs, you still stayed up with us, never wanting it to end.

And you had so many friends. Emma and my dad were particular favourites: You howled in grief when my dad didn't spend adequate time here during visits and you whined with glee whenever Emma came over. We've said goodbye to many doggy friends, too: Chelsea, Buster, Rizla and Hunter all left us too early. Even your dog-park friends: Nigel who kept giving you Giardia over and over again and Trapper who taught you how to be noble. No one compared to Calvin though, he taught you everything about loyalty. After he left and didn't come back you slept in his bed for a week.

You stuck with us through your annoying new siblings Sailor and Sophie. At our wedding you gave mommy and I a look that said 'there are too many people here!' We'll never forget that, it proved you were a discerning dog. And you protected your baby cousin Lucy from the crowds all night.

You were strong, too. After your tummy surgery, I visited you every day and cried with an indescribable happiness when you finally started eating again. You stayed with us for two more years after that and we cherished every second.

Then, cancer. Your limp only got worse and the news hit us like a truck. I didn't sleep that night and had a job interview the next morning. I credit you with getting me through it because I wasn't nervous: You were all that mattered. A few weeks later, you stopped eating anything but steak and you whined when you couldn't get up. You were sad and hurting and we didn't want you to be sad any more. On March 6, we watched Star Trek together and ate steak. On March 7 your big heart beat its last time and we wailed in agony as if something was being torn from our bodies. But, later we started looking over all our old photos and we saw how happy you were for those 4155 days.

We will miss you, Navy, always and forever.

Love,

Daddy

Sweet Dexter,

Sexydexy, you were the best dog I have ever had. From the moment I looked in your perfect, sweet face, I was in love. I am so sorry that your life ended so suddenly and that you were so young. Two years of physical therapy and acupuncture for a muscle tear and you died in pain from a ruptured tumor your routine blood tests couldn’t even detect. It makes my heart hurt.

I think about you every day, and I have cried every single day for a month and a half. Celebrating Christmas and the New Year without you has been incredibly difficult, and I cannot believe I will never hold your furry little face in my hands, and nibble your big nose ever again.

I am so sad without you in my life. You taught me so much - how to care for another life, responsibility, and what unconditional love feels like. Because of you I finally feel like I am ready to be a mom, and I can’t believe you won’t be here with us when we raise our children. I thought I had so much more time with you - seven years was simply not enough.

Mollie misses you too - you were a great big brother to her and such a great influence for a young rescue dog. Your dad never had a dog before you (but we were a package deal!) and I never saw him cry until the day you left us. An ex-boyfriend of my sister’s even reached out to tell me how great of a dog you were, and that you understood human emotions more than any other dog he ever met. He says you made him want a Wheaten Terrier someday. I hope you know your whole family - your grandparents and all of my siblings - were with you when you left. I never let go of your little paw.

Your nose and paw prints are on our wall, and your #normansgang dog tag #288 is in a shadow box by your ashes.

I love you so much, I miss you more than I can ever say, and I wish you were still here with me. I hope you are running wild and free over the rainbow bridge and that I’ll get to hold you again one day, my baby man, baby dog, and best friend.

Missing You,

Mommy

To MIJI,

I miss you girl. Never got a chance to say goodbye, or properly grieve when I was younger. When mom came home with her tail between her legs that evening I knew something shapely wrong had been committed. She claims you got loose and ran ahead like you playfully did all the time but remained tentative and disciplined, when demanded or asked of. She claimed you were dognapped and she tried looking for you all over the place, which where was the immediate scene of your disappearance. As soon as she turned the corner to anticipate your adorable self, you vanished with no trace, or witnesses saying anything about information that may or may not have lead to our rescue and returned of you. By then when I was made aware, I had quickly surveyed the neighbouring buildings and asked the local tenants, and neighbourly elderly that are always about having there presence known that, where they are currently congregating is their neighbour "bench". WHICH THEY, believe it or not are the eyes, ears, and gossip of the hood. There is no reason why they would lie unless they are suspects and guilty.

I missed you all these years and have had my heart broken. I have anxiety and depression when I think of replacing my sidekick, roll dog, princess, and badass bitch.

never will I stop appreciating and cherishing our times and memories spent alongside together.

miss you,

B. HA, I.

Love Always,

B. HA, I.

Dear Zeus,

It has been 19 days since you fell asleep for the last time. I can't help but regret some things. I worry I didn't hold you enough those last few days. I'm sad that I wasn't holding you when you passed like I was supposed to. You went to sleep on the floor by yourself, while I watched TV. I only put you down for maybe 20 minutes. I miss your cuddles so much.

I cry less now than I did before, but that doesn't mean I miss you any less. I'm glad that you're not in pain any longer, but it's just so cruel that you were only able to live 10 months. 10 months of illness and pain. I try to remember that you had good times too. Wagon rides, lots of treats, 100s of toys, and soo many cuddles. But it just wasn't enough.

I love you Baby Zeus. You'll forever be my sweet baby boy.

Love,

Momma

Sweet Buttons & Eddie,

It's been so many, many years now since I lost the two of you. I think of you both often as you were my first very own cats. You saw me through many good times and bad. Divorce, death of my mom, my grandparents, my uncle and many others... You got me through the ups and downs of my marriage, an abusive husband, moving to a new home twice in less than a year, and so many other things. Buttons you were my little ham - pretty girl who loved to play fetch with paper and money, waved your pretty tail on command, and loved to let me dress you up in clothes. My sweet girl you had asthma so bad and a hernia that you were born with which made your asthma worse. You almost died on us one time when you had a tooth pulled and nearly bled to dearth because of the asthma medication preventing your blood from clotting. But luckily you survived and lived another 5 or 6 years. Eddie you were the curious one and the one who loved to play with bottle caps and milk rings. You were a happy kitty and when you purred ity sounded as though someone had started up a Harley. I got the two of you as kittens in front of K-Mart. Someone was giving you away so I referred to you as my blue light special. You came into this world together so after 19 long years together I felt it best to have you pass to the Rainbow Bridge together. Both of you were quite sickly so I thought it was best to let you go. I was still in the middle of my divorce so it was really hard to let you both go. I will always love you though. Someday we will be together again but until then know that I love and miss you both so much. And I am forever grateful that you came into my life.

Missing You,

Mommy

Sweet Missy,

My sweet, sweet Missy Moo. I miss you so much! It's been 2 months now since you left us. It seems like just yesterday though. I see you and feel your presence everywhere. Everything reminds me of you. I love you so much. Tomorrow would have been your 11th birthday so I just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday and tell you how very much I love you and miss you.

Missing You,

Mommy

Sweet Butters,

My sweet boy! You are missed so very much. It's been almost a year now since you crossed to the Rainbow Bridge. Since then you have now been joined by your beautiful Mama Kitty and by our sweet little Missy. Please tell them mommy sends them Meows and Barks! I just wanted to wish you a Happy 12th Birthday! Your brother Tweekies is still here with me and I know that as he turns 12 he is missing you too. You are forever loved and missed my sweet boy but someday we will be together again. I love you so much!

Missing You,

Mommy