Dear Darwin,

It's been a whole week since you left. I miss you so much. Daddie does too. Humphrey is doing his best to keep his tail wagging and has been taking advantage of the extra cuddles available. I take him out now in the car everywhere I go. The first few trips were horrendous - you taught him well, my boy! He barks and whines and yips like the best of them - you should be proud of your work!

I don't know how you feel about this but we've signed up to be foster parents to give a temporary home to someone else in need. Remember when you were in the pound? If we hadn't come along, I'll bet you would have wanted a foster Mum instead, right? And remember when we first went to meet Humph with his foster family? Well, it'll be a bit like that. No-one will ever replace you, that's not what it's about. No-one could, my darling beagle boy. But we feel like we have a place to share and there are pups out there who need us. We chose a 'senior dog' rescue to volunteer with, so that means that Humphrey will probably end up having an older brother (or sister) again - albeit a foster-bro/sis. That should keep him in line, eh? We're going to let the foster pup use your bowl and bed and leash. And of course they can share the toys with Humphrey too. But your collar is in my purse and no-one's going to use that. I took your name tag - the copper one - off the collar and Daddie has it on his keyring now. When I chose it, I kind of had that in mind because I knew this time would come and how desperately hard it would be especially for Daddie. So, every time he picks up his keys, he's going to see the tag you wore so proudly - Darwin, the missing piece of our family puzzle.

So we're still waiting to collect your ashes. It was so hard to leave you there last Wednesday although it's a lovely place. If you were watching from wherever you are, you might have seen that Daddie, Humphrey and I spent some time walking in the grounds, looking at the other graves and memorials. If it hadn't been raining, it would have been beautiful. And did you see Humphrey's reaction when we came nose to beak with that emu? Oh. My. Goodness. He was so perplexed by it: a huge feathery dog with two legs! I actually smiled for the first time! We went into the town afterwards and got a cup of coffee as, for the first time in sooooo many years, there was no reason to rush home. The house is empty without you, my love. I don't know how you did it but honestly your little 30lb self filled this house and made it our home.

There are flowers all over the dining room table - folks who love you and miss you. I'm not sure you'd like them though - the smell might get up your beagley nose!

Today's hard. Tomorrow might be easier. Remember that I love you and I'll remember that you love me too. And Daddie and Humphrey. And that never dies, does it my darling boy?

Love,

Mommie

Dear (Queen) Bee,

Every day we miss you. Elijah didn't mean to attack in his quest for dog ranking when you were sick. Hapi is still wild--but trying to assume the role of Queen pack leader. She is a silly willy--you were more serious and regal. Your new fur siblings are Lady, Ronny, Darla and Sandy. Lady is more like you--even with her bad foot. She is calm, serious, sweet as pie. She was 122 lbs and has lost weight now that her thyroid is better. Darla looks like you except 14 lbs with fur. Same color markings. You would love her. Ronny is excitable. Remember when you farted and woke yourself up? Ronny would run like a fireball if you did that to him. Sandy is precious. Found her in the back of the house where I used to walk you. She is a love. She would love to have learned from you, followed you around the house. She also thinks Hapi is to goofy and should calm down. She "checks" her rambunctious behavior just like you used to to. We know you are here Bee. I feel you. I loved you so much. Your daddy James feels horribly guilty for leaving you with me. You were the best child he ever had--considering he took care of non of his human children. He took care of you the longest. He's a bit of a punk--you know that, but that's your Daddy and you took care of him many times. Elijah is getting up there and perhaps, feels bad for the things he did to you. But he loves you and appreciates everything about you. He's a senior now. Now he knows what its like to be a little tired, bones ache, and lots of tumor growths for no reason. You other family misses you. Do you hang with Miss Kitty? Grandma? Kiss Grandma for me!! I love you Bee. Everyone loved you. You are still legendary among the Rottis. The oldest to have ever graced the earth for as long as you did. My bones ache too Bee. I miss you and look forward to your kisses once more.

Missing You,

Lisa and your siblings

Dear Sandy,

It has been two long years since I've seen you. And I miss you every single day. I remember I had just started volunteering at our local shelter when I saw you. You skinny thing, you were terrified of everything. Someone found you running along the highway and brought you in. I brought everyone who was looking for a pet to your cage, hoping they'd adopt you. Days went by and you began to cough. I knew what that meant. On the last day I decided to take you myself. I had no idea what I was in for. You were very sick, so we had to quarantine you from our other two pups for weeks. You wouldn't eat and you were so thin. But slowly you got better. However, you and our corgi mix Molly took one look at each other and it was WWIII. For three years we had to keep you separated. When I decided to move out and end my marriage, of course you went with me. I remember that first night in the apartment. You and I eyed each other like "okay, now what?" You were my best buddy for the next eleven years. Remember those great naps we took? No matter where you were or what you were doing, if I laid down on the couch, you were there with me. You were sick often; I think you must have had a terrible illness as a puppy, and it flared up every now and then. When I realized that you weren't going to get better, I had a very difficult decision to make. I always hoped you'd spare me and that I'd one day find you peacefully gone. But that's not how it worked out. You were the best beagle ever and I will never forget you. No dog will ever replace you in my heart. I'll see you some day, Sander McSander, Sandy Boo-Boo Kitty.

Love,

Mary

Dear Alice,

I remember the first day I met you as if it were yesterday. Your owners called me and ask if I could take you and Jake your boyfriend. I had bought a couple of puppies from them and sent them to Westie Rescue several weeks before the call. Now they were needing a home for you and Jake. I told them that my funds were exhausted and they said if I would just come and get you for free.

I arrived at their home and they carried you and Jake out to my car. You were both loaded with fleas and horribly matted. The gave me your papers and I was ready to leave for home when the lady said the fatal words--- "Oh yeah, she might be pregnant". Well that changed everything. I had a transport set up for you and Jake to go to Westie Rescue. But now---- I couldn't send you. We arrived home and both of you went right to the tub. Gave you a flea treatment and a bath. My groomer was my next call. Jake left with in a week and you went to the vet for a check up. Yup, you were preggers. Clean bill of health tho. So we settled down and got you a nice big crate for when the pups came. And on November 10 I woke up to whimpers of newly born puppies ---4 of them two boys and two girls. George and Gracie, Hannah and Elvis. You were a great mom!!! But when the time came at 5 weeks you were done with them and we started feeding them for you. I laugh now--you were so forceful with them. You had been a mom before and you were surely ready to be just Alice. We had you spayed and you became a puppy yourself. The pups all found great homes with the help of Westie Rescue. You were up for adoption too and just before you went to your new home we had another vet check and got the bad news----heart worms. I was furious that the vet had missed this before but he said she could have just contracted it and it didn't show in the test. So you had to go through the horrible shots and pain they cause. I wanted to take you home after the shot and we got 3 miles from the vet when you were crying so much I had to take you back. I was sure you were dying. The vet said he would keep you and I could pick you up tomorrow.

I cried all the way home. The next day the vet called and ask if you had ever had seizures. "Never, I said, what's wrong??? " He said you were in the stainless steel cage and lunging at the back of it. I laughed so hard I could hardly talk. "Oh yes she chases lights, any lights, and if there is a reflection of light in the cage that is all that is going on." He was very relieved. You came home and we never tried to find you another home again. You lived with us for 4 more years and then one day you just couldn't get up. Back to the vet who said it was your heart and while we spoke you passed quietly away. The heart worms had done their damage--- you were only 7 years old. I miss you so. The fun we had with flashlights. You loved to chase the light. Well, my love, you finally caught it. Duncan and Hannah say Hi and they will be there with you someday as will I.

Love,

Pat

Dear Bubba,

I think about you every day. It has been over 3 years since I let you go, but still I find it hard to talk about you without feeling overcome with emotion. You were my friend, my child, my parent, my teacher and my confidant. You were me.

As first I didn't feel you here with me, but now I feel you so strong in my heart and soul, I understand that I never lost you. I could never lose you.

But, I do miss the way we would spoon together on the sofa or the bed and the way you would lick my nose if I blew in your ear. I really miss that. My new friends are crazy funny, Roxy and Pigeon - I think you would like them, but I suspect you would find them annoying!! They are super high energy and quite scatty. You were always the Buddah. Buddah Bubba - my beautiful, gentle, stoic and wise Whippet. I do miss you Bubba. I don't think I believe in the Rainbow Bridge, but I hope I am wrong and I hope you are there with Moose and Mia and Bertie, playing and having fun. And if such a place exists I hope I will meet you there one day. That would be paradise. I still have a little of your ashes - I think I fantasize that maybe one day, if the singularity happens in my lifetime that I might be able to bring you back - all of you - your body, your mind, your memories, your essence, your love.

I miss you so much Bubba - I hope you are happy and running like the wind, chasing squirrels and skipping high in the air the way I remember you.

You taught me that I could be a mother, that I could love and be responsible, that I was loveable. You loved me. And I love you. Thank you, Bubba, thank you.

Please if you have time, visit me in my dreams - it means so much to me when you pop by and I get to see you briefly. Life was so hard for me for so long after you died and it is only now I can see the light again. So it will only bring me joy to see you in my dreams.

Wish I could hug you again and stroke your velvet coat. Love you. LOVE YOU!! Be safe, play and know you will live forever in my heart.

Missing You,

Sam

Dear Bella,

YOU WERE THE FIRST

I'm sometimes sad,

I miss your endless grace

A delicate feline

with white and grey face

You were Turkish Angora

Yet found on the street

A dainty fey puzzle

with small furry feet

You had a long life,

Of love faith and wonder

What miracle, Bella, did we live under

And you were the first

You started it all

A Cat with green eyes

If I can recall

You're my inspiration

My familar it's true

You, my kitty fey spirit

You were just you

You walked in the door

You were meant to stay

You weaved our spirits together

They're together today

You were an Emmisary of love

Of hope and of faith

You're part of my Self

You were always great

And so the cats come,

Shy fosters and more

You pushed open the way

You led through the door

Ruffy and Smokie, Prinny, and Nat

CK and fosters

All the magick of Cat

A Turkish Angora

Who slept on Daddy at night

Purring through all

You made it all right.

I remember your play,

I remember the way

You would stretch out in sun puddles

Though most of the day

I remember you chasing

The string along mice

Through winter hallways

Of twilight and ice

Napping with Daddy,

Grooming my hand

Through the scariest of surgery

That was never planned.

You were the first, my fur child it's so

My reason for living and for letting you go

You were the first, of all lovely cats

My little Bella, you're a miracle at that

You were the first, you started it all

I miss you Bella in the wonder of Fall

I picked up your ashes, your pawprint in clay

Where are you Bella, are you ions away?

Do you run through green fields

With Gump, Tiger and friends?

Do you find ways back here cause it can't be 'the end'.

I watch our Ruffy, as he closes his eyes

A low rumbling purr, do the others realize?

That you were the first, my soul mate for sure

A million memories wrapped in meows and purrs

The places where you lay, the others now claim

Thats the way of cats, and they aren't to blame

Living in the moment, pacing through all time

Creatures of mystery, comedy sublime

You started it all, Miss Plume tail it's so

I wish that I didn't have to let go

But it had come time, you told us that

Such is the way of a fey gray and white cat

You could see the others through the portal whence you came

So many years ago a kitten without your name

So you leapt up and out, following Alex I know,

I sensed her in the room, and I watched you go

A last little glimpse of a furry plume tail

As you turned for a second and looked back through the veil

And I smiled through the grief and through many tears

I said I love you Bella, my best friend for years

I'll miss you my Bella, how to say thank you

for the miracle in fur-you started Rescue

And now as I sit here, with a list before me

Of cats needing homes, so many, you see

But I feel you at my shoulder, you brush the air

My Patron Saint of Fur, you make us care

For yes, in the words of Ruffy, he of orange fur

We can't give up, yes trust miracles occur

You were the first cat in from the cold

A small funny feline with eyes that were old

My daughter familar, wrapped in lovely fur

Now I can imagine that I hear your purr

As I watch cats in the window, on the bed with your dad

And somehow, blithe spirit....I know you'd be glad.

D.A.H.K October 10, 2012....the day we got Bella's ashes back...

I will love you my little Bellisimo forevrer.

For you...now and Always

Love,

Mommy and Daddy

Dear Shyanne,

It has now been over 3 weeks since we last were together and I am finally at a place where I can speak about the impact that your absence in my life has had on me. From the very first day you came into my world, not a day thereafter went by that I did not learn from you. You taught me how to love again and kissed all of my tears as I went through a loss and a time in my life that I had always thought would be the hardest, but I now know that not be the case. Never did a day go by that we both did not give and received unconditional love from each other. You lifted my spirit every day and gave me strength where I could not find it for myself. The only certainty is that I woke up every single morning with more love in my heart for you than the day before. I miss your stinky breath and your chewy cheeks and holding your paws. I miss our endless snuggles, laughter, play time. I miss feeding you and bathing you and blow drying you. I even miss your 20 minute poops, they were such an amazing lesson in patience for me. You gave me my zen moment --every day. I never even thought about the possibility of not having you physically in my life and you were torn from our life together way to soon! Tragic does not even begin to articulate what happened to you but it is your spirit that guides me to find the light where I only want to see dark. There are bad people in this world and I must accept that. I chose my profession based upon the love and respect that I feel towards animals and always wanted to advocate for their humane care and treatment. I just honestly never thought I would have to do it because of personal reasons. I vow to you my baby girl, that I will make a change. The laws for cruelty (which in NJ date back to the 1800's), must change and in your honor, I will do everything in my power to work towards that change. In the short 31/2 years that I was blessed to have your presence in my life, I learned more about life than anything else has ever taught me, I am eternally grateful to you and oh so sorry. It has been said that grief and love are directly proportionate. I know this to be true because the hole that has been left in my heart feels boundless, just like the love that I had for you. I am confident that every day of your life, you knew you were loved, immensely. You are the sweetest sould that I have ever had the opportunity to be with and I am so very thankful for having you in my life. I will carry your spirit with me in my heart and in my soul. I will continue to love, because that is what you taught me. I will stay in the moment and not dwell in the past, because that is what you taught me. I will have compassion, sympathy and empathy for those that are not good, because that is what you taught me. And if I had a tail, I'd wag it every day in yout honor, because that is what you taught me. I remember when I adopted you and I asked the woman what you were like and she said, she's just so grateful. I will go on every day of my life being grateful, because that is what you taught me. Because of you, I am grateful for what I have had, what I currently have and what is yet to come. Shyanne- I will miss you every day of my life and I am just so grateful to have had the time we did. I love you so very much angel.

Love,

Tracy Stanton

Dear Charlie,

There are so many things I want to say to you but I should start with I am so sorry I wasn't there when you got out of the yard and disappeared. I'm sorry I couldn't find you. Where did you go? What did you do? You must have been so scared. I'm sorry you aren't home where you belong. I promised to love and protect you for the rest of your life and I failed. Not at loving you, for I will do that for the rest of my life. You are always in my thoughts. I miss you nudging me with your nose to pet you...I miss your barking from another room to get attention...I miss sharing ice cream and treats with you. I miss our cuddles and hugs...I miss your gentleness...I even miss you waking me up too early on my day off. You have a part of my heart no one else can have. And even though your brothers and sisters are still at home and I love them too, I am having difficulty going home each day and not seeing you. Not being able to pet you or rub your belly. I pray each and every day that you will find your way back to me, but if for some reason you don't, I want you to be safe and happy. You are so dear to me and I am so very grateful for having been a part of your life. If you take nothing else with you from this world, please take the knowledge that you are loved and cherished. I love you Charlie Bean and miss you more than words can say... please, please come home.

Love,

Momma

Dear El ,

It has only been a day since the vet came and took you away from me. It was, perhaps, the right decision despite being one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I didn’t want you to suffer. I didn’t want you to waste away. I hope you understand but somehow doubt you do. I doubt everything right now.

The selfish part of me wants you to still be here, to help sooth my own suffering. Within an hour of your death I couldn’t think about anything except my desire to hold you, hug you, kiss the top of your head and hear you purr. But I couldn’t. I still can’t. I never will again. Sadly, (this is something I shouldn’t admit, even to you, Chubby girl), because I couldn’t hold you I collected a ball of the fur you left behind and I held that. It didn’t help, of course. It was kind of gross, and frankly, it wasn’t you, it was simply another thing you’d left behind.

For such a little kitty, the empty space you’ve left behind is enormous.

My beautiful girl, I miss you.

Love,

GB

Dear Lizzy,

I miss you so much. It has been 356 days since I last held you.I hope you know how much I loved you. I can't believe that you are not here with us anymore. You were so much more than a "pet." People don't understand what you meant to me and our family. You were a part of that family. I feel as if I let you down. I hope you understand that we felt you were suffering. You seemed so stressed and just wandered the house, not knowing where you were at. I was so afraid that you would hate me for having to take you to the vet and put an end to your suffering. I hated every second of making the decision. I still regret having to do it. I will never forget leaving the vet's office without you; I know how much you hated to go to "doggie jail." The other day I came home and thought you were here for a second, instead it was Nick's dog, Ozzie, who came to visit. It was just another reminder how much I miss you. I know Katy misses you so much too. We can barely talk about you, without crying. I don't think I will ever get over missing you. I was thinking about you last night, and the way you used to burrow under the blankets. You loved your blankie! And then there were your sockies! Boy, did you use to have fun with those sockies. And the "claw" that made you growl, it was so fun. I will never forget you ever Lizzy... I miss you so much my baby girl. You taught me so much. I love you always and forever.

Love,

Mom