My sweet Pixie,

This is so hard. I feel your loss everyday. I feel so much guilt. I know there's something I missed, you weren't ready. I was scared. I made the decision by myself so I only have myself to blame. I wish things hadn't happened so fast, I wish I'd waited another hour at least, held you longer. I was scared, so scared you were suffering, but I don't know for sure! I took you from your baby, he misses you licking his face and lying next to him, I'm so sorry! I'm not sure I'll ever forgive myself ever for the rest of my life. If I'd only had more money, a better vet.... I loved you from day one and you weren't even supposed to be mine. You were my twin soul, I swear it. I let you down. Damn it.

I just don't know how to handle this loss, I'm trying to focus on all the time we had and the love. I hope, with all my might, that I'll see you again someday in some form. I love you, I love you my beautiful, beautiful girl.

Love always,

Your Mama