Dear Shyanne,
It has now been over 3 weeks since we last were together and I am finally at a place where I can speak about the impact that your absence in my life has had on me. From the very first day you came into my world, not a day thereafter went by that I did not learn from you. You taught me how to love again and kissed all of my tears as I went through a loss and a time in my life that I had always thought would be the hardest, but I now know that not be the case. Never did a day go by that we both did not give and received unconditional love from each other. You lifted my spirit every day and gave me strength where I could not find it for myself. The only certainty is that I woke up every single morning with more love in my heart for you than the day before. I miss your stinky breath and your chewy cheeks and holding your paws. I miss our endless snuggles, laughter, play time. I miss feeding you and bathing you and blow drying you. I even miss your 20 minute poops, they were such an amazing lesson in patience for me. You gave me my zen moment --every day. I never even thought about the possibility of not having you physically in my life and you were torn from our life together way to soon! Tragic does not even begin to articulate what happened to you but it is your spirit that guides me to find the light where I only want to see dark. There are bad people in this world and I must accept that. I chose my profession based upon the love and respect that I feel towards animals and always wanted to advocate for their humane care and treatment. I just honestly never thought I would have to do it because of personal reasons. I vow to you my baby girl, that I will make a change. The laws for cruelty (which in NJ date back to the 1800's), must change and in your honor, I will do everything in my power to work towards that change. In the short 31/2 years that I was blessed to have your presence in my life, I learned more about life than anything else has ever taught me, I am eternally grateful to you and oh so sorry. It has been said that grief and love are directly proportionate. I know this to be true because the hole that has been left in my heart feels boundless, just like the love that I had for you. I am confident that every day of your life, you knew you were loved, immensely. You are the sweetest sould that I have ever had the opportunity to be with and I am so very thankful for having you in my life. I will carry your spirit with me in my heart and in my soul. I will continue to love, because that is what you taught me. I will stay in the moment and not dwell in the past, because that is what you taught me. I will have compassion, sympathy and empathy for those that are not good, because that is what you taught me. And if I had a tail, I'd wag it every day in yout honor, because that is what you taught me. I remember when I adopted you and I asked the woman what you were like and she said, she's just so grateful. I will go on every day of my life being grateful, because that is what you taught me. Because of you, I am grateful for what I have had, what I currently have and what is yet to come. Shyanne- I will miss you every day of my life and I am just so grateful to have had the time we did. I love you so very much angel.
Love,
Tracy Stanton