This letter from Your Son to Mom was written on Monday, April 19, 2010

Dear Mom,

I lost my mother in January 9 this year, I still don't know if I am dealing with it right. I don't really have anyone to talk about it with, I'm older - 26, but I have lived away from home in other states until this. She had cancer, lung cancer, and I moved back home when she had it. She only had it for a few months before her passing. I can't talk to my dad or younger sister about it, I have to be strong for

them. See originally we are from Ireland and we are the only fam over here, I don't have an aunt or uncle to confide with so I really think I am just burying it all inside of me and I am scared about that. We had the funeral in Ireland which was great considering...I don't know what I want to write except that I miss you mom, Dad misses you, life aint life anymore without you and I really want to move on with life but I can't, you were the best part of my life, you were my rock, you were the perfect mother. Sweet yet strong when you needed to be. A part of me just wants to move far far away and start a new life, while another part wants to ensure the rest of my immediate fam is alright. My Dad will move soon, he should, im trying to push him towards that, It just feels like my life has eroded and I have no clue what the future holds or what I should do. I am just very scared and lost without her and this is my first time losing someone close to me, I have been lucky in that sense, but still I am lost. I am just wondering does this pain ever go away or am I going to be a mental mess for the rest of my life? Seeing her body on the floor will never go away and it does affect me very deeply. I dont need to have someone "talk to me." That is BS, its happened to people for 1000's of years, I know it would not be easy, I never knew it would be so hard...


Your Son