Dear Alaska Sky,
The light escaped your eyes Saturday. The choice I made was not easy, and will pain me forever on. I know it was for the best. You were in tremendous pain, and the surgery would have continued the agony with the chance of survival minimal. I had never been through that process before, and I hope to never do it again. To see the life flee from your physical form was difficult, but I know you are not in pain anymore. The fact that your heart would not stop beating let me know that your love was fighting to stay with me. I appreciate that my love. You will always be with me.
Do you remember the car ride home from your birth mom’s house? I won’t forget it. You sat calmly in the passenger seat with your head toward me. The brindle spot on your right eye gave you the expression of curiosity. The excitement of travel was gleaming in your eyes, but it pained you to leave your mother. I fully understand that feeling. Yet, you, Chance and I had each other, and I believe that helped the transition.
Your ability to learn quickly was amazing, and I was not surprise to find that your quick learning would lead to a strong bond between us. You were always there when I need you. You were there when I needed someone to love on, or someone to whisper a secret to. When I would wake up in the night I knew I could roll over and hold you. That helped me fall back to sleep, forgetting the nightmare that just happened.
The summer was great. Between the walks in the subdivision and our swims in Stones River, we shared a lot of moments. I felt better after our excursions. Chance is a great dog, but he and I can’t share the experiences that you and I did. That strengthened our bond even more. Those swims were great. The fact that you would follow me out into the deep waters, and just hang on me, made me feel as strong as a god. That idea that you needed me was my strength. No matter where I went you would always follow.
When the vet called me Saturday I know that our time had come to an end. Sandy was there for support, and that meant so much to me. Unfortunately, the task was still going to happen. As we sat on the floor in that small room, I could feel your love. That love that told me to be strong, but I couldn’t stop crying. The sedative had taking affect and you lay peacefully next to me. When the vet came to give the final shot, I whispered something into your ear. I hope you will remember what I said. That was our last secret. When the lady injected the fatal shot in your IV, I had my hand on your neck and could feel every breath and heartbeat you took. Your breath gave out first, but your heart kept beating. I know that was your sign to me that your love for me would never die. The lady had to administer one more lethal injection, and your heart stopped. You had left your body, but had not left my heart.
I have had many companions in my life. Tonto, Rebel and Shasta to name a few, but losing you has caused me the most pain. I guess because I feel responsible for your death mostly, but I know you forgave me. That idea means a lot to me, baby.
I will continue to hold you in my heart for the rest of my life. Know that your love was not lost on this man. I am better for knowing your love. I don’t know if there is
anything past death, but if there is please wait for me. I want to go for another swim with you.
Your Father and Friend, Dustin