My sweet Jake,

It’ll be 6 months this Saturday since we said goodbye.

Yesterday I sat across from Vashon Island where we shared our last trip, the place I adopted you from, and wished I was holding you again. I would give so much to spend that last full day with you again. I still think about you all the time. Some days I even still think I’m coming home to see your happy face and hear your click-clacks and bark-barks when I step through the door. I have to remind myself you’re not home anymore.

I’m still filled with regret; the waves come and go. I tell myself that this long-term grief I’m feeling and expect to feel forever just shows how much I loved and still love you. I carry your ashes in a necklace I wear every single day, so you still get to come with me everywhere like you used to. It’s a beautiful necklace and looks just like the color of your hair.

Your hospital bill from last April is almost paid off. Isn’t it silly the thought of paying that off brings me to tears? It feels like I’m closing another chapter with you. I feel the same seeing the amount of pictures with your name declining as the months pass on. I hate the fact that I will never have a new photo of you.

Bailey is just like you. She learned so much from you when she was a puppy and I’m so grateful she did. She has your eyes, same stare full of love I miss seeing every day, same “awoooo” she learned from you.

I heard Luca passed away around the time you did from cancer. I had been hoping somehow we all could’ve been a big family together because you and her would’ve gotten along wonderfully. I hope you and her are chasing each other over the rainbow bridge, nipping at each other’s ankles and rolling around in the grass.

Max has taken your spot as my third dog… another senior adopt. I wish it hadn’t taken your passing for her to join our family. You and her were good friends too.

This letter to you feel so disjointed but my thoughts about you feel that way sometimes. You are in every little part of my life still. Rearranging the house, I thought about how nothing will look the same since you passed away. My new chicken chicks won’t get to see your giant, brown eyes peering at them the way the rest of them did.

Jake… I miss you dearly, buddy. You were the absolute light of my life and my beautiful soul dog. I hope you’re doing alright, Jakey. I’d give so much just to see you again.

Love you ‘til the end of time, Jakey-poo.

Love,

Sarah