Dear Billy,

You'd wait for me to come home from school, siting in the windowsill. I'd press my fingers to the glass, and you your nose. Then I'd tell you I'd meet you at the door, and there you'd be, waiting for me to pick you up so we could touch noses. It was our tradition. To this day I blame myself for not having put you to sleep. I'll never know if you suffered out in the woods behind my uncle's house because one of his dogs chased you into the woods and no one ever saw you again.

I'll never know. And that guilt will stay with me always. But sometimes at night when I'm lying in bed reading or listening to music, I'll feel the bed press down and little cat paws walking or sometimes kneading the bed beside me. I'll look over sometimes and see that Odin, my now 1 year old cat, is lying on the floor. That's how I know it's you come to say hi. When you doe, I know you've forgiven me, but oh the pain.... You were only 5 when I last saw you.

I was there when your mother gave birth to you. It was a miracle you survived because one of your siblings sliced open the skin on your neck. But we treated it with peroxide and watched, hoping. You'd be 17 now. A ripe old age for a cat. If you were still with me now, I'd have to prepare myself for your passing soon. But you've long since walked to the rainbow bridge. I know because you'll curl up next to me, but I can't see you.

You were so smart. You could walk on a harness and leash. I remember the neighbors applauding you when we walked together. You were never nuetered, but you knew better than to spray, too. You were a good boy, and the best of friends. You'd eat most anything, but oh how you loved your catalope.

I hope you've found my Gypsy, Alex, and all the rest. They are your siblings, ya know, so take good care of those that need your protection. I love you so very much and not a day goes by that I don't think of you. I miss you so much. They should never have taken you from me. When they did, they took everything. One day I will see you again, my Billy. My best friend.

With love always ?

ps

I'm sure I'll write to you again, and I'll be sure to post a picture so everyone can see what a wonderful and sweet boy you were.

Love,

Mommy