You left us this evening, and while I sit here in a daze, what better way to pay tribute to your ever lasting love than through a letter.
I had to make one of the toughest decisions for you tonight. You were in pain. The cancer crept up on us like the the night does to day. Two weeks ago, I took you in for a cough. We saw some spots in the xray, but hoped for it to be bronchitis. We had your annual blood panel work done to find something in your liver. Shortly after finishing your medication, which was this past Sunday, it was difficult to breath. I am so sorry I did not catch it sooner. I know now that you were trying to tell me all the times you sat in the bathroom as I got dressed, just staring at me. For that, I will always feel guilty. I am truly sorry. 10 years just wasn't enough.
I want to tell you how much I admired your forgiving spirit. and thank you from the bottom of my soul for keeping my daughter company when she needed someone the most. You were her sibling. You patiently allowed her to dress you up in her old pajamas, and even had fun on stroller rides.
These last few months we had some amazing runs along the river walk. We made some of our best times. Thank you for pushing me, and telling me not to give up! You were my coach, my partner, my best friend. You seemed to believe in me and knew what I was capable of. I'm sorry that stray dog frightened us on our last run....he just wouldn't leave us alone! I had you walk right beside me so he wouldn't dare harm you. Your loving spirit made him understand that we were not a threat.
Harriet, I will miss you every single day of my life. My daughter will mourn you for eternity. She lost her sister tonight, but she knows that you were in pain and we needed to fix that. She can't sleep in her room because you are not there tonight - so she is sleeping on the couch in our room. She made a very special picture collage of you with all of us, even the silly pictures! But we could not hang it up just yet.
Harriet, please know that we had to make this decision for you so that you could be comfortable again. You were crying as you lay on your bed to sleep because you could no longer breath. The cancer in your lungs was taking over. We made this decision because we love you so, so much, and could not live knowing you were in pain.
We will run again someday. Your spirit will be with me on the dirt paths because I know that is what you loved the most. As soon as I got the leash out, you would get so excited.
I still can't believe this is happening. We all hoped that this was just all a horrible dream. I still feel that I am in shock. My heart is broken. You took a huge piece of my heart with you tonight. We miss you so much, and will love you forever. I love you, Harriet. You will live in my heart and run with my soul until the sun stops shining.
Love you sweet baby girl,