Dear Chester Pierre "Cheddie",

Mommy loves you and misses you so much. There has not been one day that has past since the day you left me that I have not thought about you. I miss you so much. I miss when you tried to get a bark out and you just made that funny grunt sound. I miss that the most. I miss how excited you would get and how you tried to act like you were a big boy. You were my big boy at only ten pounds and I loved every ounce of you. You were my little man , my son that I never had, the love of my life, my everything. And now even after one and half years have gone by I still can't seem to admit that you are not just gone and will be coming home that you have moved on into the arms of the Man that had created you and put you on this earth for me to eventually find you and to rescue you from having to live a miserable life outside in the freezing cold with no one to keep you warm or no one to hug you and to tell you how much you are loved. I still can't imagine how horrible it had to of been that winter while you tried to keep warm all by yourself in that cold dark chicken house with very little to eat. I don't think I will ever be able to understand how horrible it had to of been for you to of slept out side in the freezing cold or how you even made it when I knew how cold you would get just going outside to go potty in the winter. I promised you that you would never be cold again when you came to live with me and I made you a toasty warm snow suit and kept you covered up at night next to me so you would stay snuggley warm and never be cold again.

I would have given you more if you could of only stayed here longer with me. I loved you more than my life itself and I still love you little guy. I loved your sneaky way that you would do things to me to tease me and I told you that you were a little monster when you would run away from me and almost cause me to have heart failure running after you in an attempt to catch you. The whole time that you were running from me I saw you smiling as you turned your little head to see if I was still chasing you.

I did everything in my power to make sure that you had the best food and the warmest bed and I did this because I had to protect you from those things that would have hurt you if I had just left you to go out on your own. I was so scared of loosing you for all the years I had you I never was able to relax and just live ...I was always afraid of what I would ever have done without you and how would I ever be able to go on without your sweet little smile to see on that little face of yours every day.

Cheddie... Mommas so sorry I wasn't able to keep you here longer and I hope and pray that you know how much I love you and that I didn't keep you here to make you suffer. I thought that I would be able to help you to get better because of all the information I had read of the different cases and how the little dogs were healed. I am angry with those people that wrote those books on natural healing because they made me think that your heart problem was a simple thing to fix and everything would be alright.

Thank you so much for all of your self that you gave to me and for helping me get through the tough times in my life. Cheddie I love you so much and I miss you more than I can ever explain to you. Mommy loves you my little man. Thank you for the last kissy you gave me that last day. Thanks for sharing your life with me. I hope you had a good time here.

Love,

Momma