Hey there Big Girl,
Well, it has been exactly 1 week since you left us. This week has been very surreal, and, honestly, I think you would have been really confused had you witnessed it with your own eyes. You, who loved and relied on schedules and continuity, well, this week would have gotten you a little uptight to say the least :)
We decided to not tell the boys that morning, and wait until the afternoon, because neither Todd nor I wanted them see you that morning… we wanted them to remember you as you were- happy, sloppy wet kisses and tail wagging. Logan really took the news hard, he did not want to believe it, and cried for a long time; he even left us to go to his room for a while. Hayden’s reaction was “but she likes to give me kisses!”, and even he cried (see – you were right, there is a lot of love in that kiddo ;-D) . Logan asked us if we could visit you on your birthday and bring you flowers and peeps, “like we do for your friend, momma”- that one made me start to cry all over again; he really wants to make sure you know that he is going to miss you.
Todd misses you so much—we both had such a hard time on Thursday morning, as I left and said “Have a great Day” he started to say “I already HAVE a great Dane” (as he has every day for the past 9 years) and we both just stopped and stared at each other realizing that little joke had run its course :(
And now Peanut- well – she is just out of sorts. (She is actually BEHAVING herself lol). She finally went back to your room and slept in your blanket on Sunday, but wouldn’t go near it at all before that. We started feeding her in the room, since she doesn’t slobber and make a mess like you always did ;). She pretty much keeps by our side all day log now, and its starting to freak Todd out. She has decided to latch on to him more than ever now that your not there for her. Maybe it will be good for them, they may start to like each other - I figure that’s what you would have liked anyway.
So there you have it—its taken me a week to write this because its taken me that long to accept that you are really gone. It has sunk in, and I accept that I will not have your happy “clicking” nails on the floor, or your wet nose in my face at 4 am asking to be let outside, or your very rare loud bark ringing out in the house ever again. We are doing well- and I know that is what will make you happiest. We will never replace you—as you were one of a kind. We may get another dog in a few years, but we know we will never again have our “big girl.”
I love you!