One year ago today I let you go.
It has been a very difficult year and it has taken me this long to face writing you this letter.
I know it was time and that your little body was failing you in a way that I still can't comprehend, but saying goodbye to you was one of the hardest things I have ever done. The loss has left me with a hole in my heart that I know will never be completely healed.
I am doing my best to keep my promise to you that I would only remember you happy and healthy. It helps to focus on your smile, or remember the way you would howl like a fool at any squirrel or bird who dared cross your path. I keep close my memories of you and Murphy chasing each other in the yard, or the way you would sit at the base of the tree for what seemed like hours, watching for the squirrel you chased up it moments before. You sitting by the window, ever watchful and alert to the world outside. Your beautiful eyes that always looked so sad. I miss your lovely, little face, and the way you would snuggle up to me on the couch and nudge my hand with your nose when you wanted to be petted. This is how I choose to remember you, and focusing on these memories helps a little with the pain of losing you. The pain will fade, but the memories will last.
One year but it still feels like yesterday that you were here, a complete part of my life. I will never forget you, or let my memories of you go. You will always be a part of who I am, and who I become. You will always be the sweetest, most loving creature I have ever known. You were completely selfless, and you didn't deserve what happened to you. I am so fortunate to have had you as a part of my life. I hit the jackpot with you and I will never forget that, or stop being grateful for you. As much as it hurts, the memories of 11 wonderful years are worth the price.
Rest in peace, sweet girl.
I love you, forever and always.