my dearest Punkin head, my little love muffin, my best friend, and the first love of my life-
I loved you from the very first day I saw you. You were this little ball of fluff that fit in my hand, and you crawled to the top of the scratching post and over on to my head. I knew you were the one for me, my perfect match. I never regretted that impulsive moment. We drove an hour home with you in a box, with that little black bow tied around your neck. How did you figure out the untieing process? I never understood that one. we rode home with you meowing in your tiny cat voice untill I found just the right radio station to calm your nerves.
You loved music. My mom is gettign rid of the grand piano. She tells me the only reason she kept it was because of you and your need for the vibrations, and the sound. She loved your stomping down the stairs when you stayed with her, your demands to play music for you. We talk all the time remembering how you would tare ass around the house, then zip up and over the music stand and inside to curl up when she played. We laugh histerically at the day when she thought she lost you, turned out you were sleeping happily on the sounding board of that piano.
I dug out all the old photos i had of you, and came across the picture of your head poping up through the coffee table in my parent's living room. The cat fishing fun...
I miss you terribly, and I feel so horribe that our time together got cut short. at the end you were always on my mind. I had no problem carrying you around like my little baby, loving you and peting you. I miss your purr and I miss your smell. I miss waking up next to you every morning. I need you just the same way you needed me. I guess that's why we were a good pair.
I don't understand what happened, and I never will. Why did you loose weight? Were you really upsett over the dog, or were you upsett with me? The dog will never replace you. NEVER. No one can take your place. I would still do anything to have you back. I wish we had been quicker in trying to figure things out, or that anything that was suggested had worked. I am so sorry that nothing did. I wish things had ended differently. I know you held on just for me. I know you stuck out what ever pain you were in for another pet, or another snuggle. I am glad in some ways that i was not there when you took your last breath. I wish i could have told you that I loved you again and gave you one more kiss though. I just wish I could have changed things. You were there for me through everything in life, and it feels like I let you down. I really do feel like i let you down. I didn't do enough, I wasn't there for you when you needed me the most. I am glad that you finished your life with a good meal and a long purr, I just wish it had been for me.
You will always be the love of my life, no matter where you are you will always be with me. Your memory will give me strenght, and comfort when I need it. the same way you did in your short life. 8 years seems like it was not nearly long enough.
I will see you on the other side my love. We will spend our eternity together.