My sweet Bear,

My little guy. You were only 8 months old. You had so much life ahead of you, and I always blame myself for not taking better care of you. I know the last couple weeks of your life you were in pain and I'm sorry I didn't notice sooner. We did what we thought was best by laying you to rest and I hope you understand. I'm not a believer in God but I hope one day we'll be reunited. I can't accept that I'll never be with you again.

You were my shadow and went everywhere I did even if it was just a few steps. You'd lay under my desk when I'd work. You'd wait for me outside the bathroom door if I locked you out. Now I wish I never did. The house feels so empty without you. I've never felt this type of anguish before and I'm so lonely without you. Every night I turn to your crate and cry that you're not asleep by my side. I think about you all the time and wake up hoping everything was nightmare. Everyone who met you loved you, even if you were a little crazy for them. I cherished your happy-go-lucky and goofy nature. You were so smart and full of joy.

Thank you for giving me the best six months of my life. Thank you for the goodbye kisses. Thank you for allowing me to be your mama. There will never be another boy like you. I know you loved me as much as I love you.

Love,

Mama