I waited a year to write this letter to you. A year ago today I lost the furry love of my life and my world was never the same again. I look back at that day and wondered what I missed, if there was something I could have done to prevent your passing. It was a sunny day and you were lying in a ray of sunlight, I rushed off to see a movie and when I looked back, we looked at each other and then I left. I don’t even remember if I told you that I loved you before going.
When I came home, you were curled up in your little pet bed beside my pillow and I couldn’t understand or process what was going on. Later, I felt so guilty for not being there for you. You were the most important part of my life, you knew when there was something wrong with me and I missed something that took you away from me. You died alone without your mommy in a place that usually brought you comfort when we slept at night.
As I took your little body to the animal hospital I just kept thinking of how much I would miss you. While the hospital took all of my information to process your cremation, I held on to you and buried my face in your fur, trying to breathe in your scent and remember it. When it was time to let you go, I couldn’t. I just sat there holding you.
I still miss you. I miss coming home and finding one of your toys left on my bed. I used to always think that was your gift to me. You knew I worked too hard and needed reminding to play every once in a while. I still can’t think about welcoming another cat into my home permanently – not just yet. It’s too hard. I volunteer now at the animal shelter where I adopted you and sometimes I foster the kittens that need a place to stay until they’re ready to find their humans to spend the rest of their lives with.
Even that decision was hard to make but the day I went to pick up my first batch of kittens, I came across your picture – the one used to advertise you for adoption. I used to joke that the photo was of a face only a mother could love because you looked so miserable in it, but when I saw that photo, I knew you had to be mine. When I found that picture, I took it as a sign from you that it was okay
It wasn’t fair that we only got to spend two short years together. I don’t know what your life was like before I adopted you, but I know what my life was like after I got you. Nothing ever seemed as bad because we were together. Please know that I will never forget you, I will always love you and I hope one day to see you again. You will always remain the furry love of my life.