Hey love. You've been gone for three days now, and I miss you so much. You were my heart...my soul. You were the love of my life. I don't know what to do with myself...my routine for the past 15 years is gone. I love you so much. Taking you to the vet and having you put down was the most painful thing I have ever had to do in my life. I knew it was time...you were starting to suffer...but that doesn't make it any less painful. If only. If only one more day...one more hour...one more minute. You were scared when we went to the vet...you always were...and I feel like I let you down. I feel like I failed you. I know I didn't, but I feel that way. I'm sorry, my love. I'm so, so sorry. My heart aches at the thought of it, and I hope you forgive me. I hope you are resting peacefully over the Rainbow Bridge.
Thank you, my friend. Thank you for the love and joy you shared with me. Thank you for allowing me to be part of your life. I watched a video yesterday of when I picked you up from Debbie's after a trip. You were SO happy...your face smiling...you were bouncing all around the yard. You were just pure joy! Thank you for the smiles, my friend, and so many fond memories that will always make me smile. I was so blessed to have you in my life.
I went to the Refuge today. I went to the places we used to go...the boardwalk...Morgan Prairie. I missed having you with me...so much. I had to go...to grieve...to miss...to remember. I spread some of Quan's and Buddy's ashes at the Prairie where I already spread some of my mom's ashes, and will spread some of your ashes, too. It's a beautiful, magical place...just as you are a beautiful and magical soul.
You will always be wherever my heart is. I miss you, my friend. I miss you, my best friend. I feel like a part of me is gone, but I know that's not true. It just feels that way right now. You are completely within me...in my heart...in my soul. Forever.
Missing you, loving you, hugging you, and giving you big kisses.
My love for you is beyond words...