Dear Tilly,

Nobody understands my grief at your loss, so I need to talk to you instead. They say you were just a chicken. They say chickens don't know or show love. They clearly never met you.

You came to me as Buck's companion, and I didn't even really expect to get attached to you. You didn't seem to want affection like he did, but I remember the moment you figured out that love was a good thing. The look on your face. The total abandonment to the affection. You never looked back. I still love Buck so much, but in all honesty, you were more loving and sweet than even he is. I can't believe how much you stole my heart. It's horrible here without you.

Buck misses you so much that he is not doing well now either. I talk to him about you, and I hold him and tell him it's o.k., but it really isn't without you. We both miss you so much.

I miss how you would melt in my arms when I pet you. I miss how you would rub your face on my face when I would give you kisses. I miss your beautiful face running to be with me when I came in to see you. I miss how good you were with Buck even though he was young and a little silly. I miss everything about you.

I tried so hard to save you. The vet tried hard to save you. We wanted you to stay, but it wasn't to be.

Buck is so sad at your loss, and he is sick now with a tumor that started to grow when you left him. I am hoping beyond hope that he survives. If he makes it through the surgery and recovers, I may need to get him a new companion, but it hurts to even think about it. No other bird could replace you in my heart. I don't believe he will see them the same way he saw you either. You were his perfect match. He is clearly grieving though, and a friend might help a little. I hope you don't see it as replacing you, because that could never happen. It's just in the hope that he will be a little less depressed.

I miss you honey, and I always will. You will forever be my girl. I hope you know how much you were loved. I hope you know how much you are missed. I hope you know that you will never be forgotten. I hope you are now in a better place where everyone sees how wonderful you are, and that you deserve just as much love and respect as any other living being.

Hopefully some day people will understand how wonderful you and your kind are, and people will not be ridiculed for loving one such as you. Hopefully some day people who love beautiful birds like you will be able to talk about it without having people make distasteful comments about eating you. Hopefully your very own legacy will be to further that cause. I still talk about how awesome you were, even though it gets mixed reactions. There are some that appear to be starting to understand. Perhaps that wouldn't have happened without you, and the sad loss of you. You have made a difference with your life. Even if, so far, it is just a few people. Hopefully it will continue to grow.

If nothing else, you were one very well loved little girl who left a great big hole in one human's life. If that was your only legacy, it would be enough for me.

Please wait for me in Heaven. I look forward to seeing you there.

Love,

Gramma (Amy)