This letter from Bekah to China Blue was written on Thursday, August 2, 2012

Dear China Blue,

My Chi~girl ! Wow, baby, I really miss your loving force in the world. I miss our long walks with your mama, Aja, I miss your doggy-dreams, & fur all over the house... I miss even your growls when I tried to find a place in the bed for me beside you two ! My speckled girl, we had great times with Aja at the lake in Chicago, & playtime with you was serious - balls, frisbees, rope-bones. I remember one of your favorite things to do was herd all the other dogs, the Aussie Shepherd in you ! I remember so well, realizing when Aja was pregnant - she was the quintessiential mother, loving all of you pups dearly. We were blessed with your presence as well, my love. I had made the decision to keep the last pup with your mom & me, & you were amazing ! So different with your beautiful black & white markings, & beautiful spots, softest fur like your mama; inside you two were peas in a pod, so alike in so many ways. You girls always let me know you were on my side, you totally had my back from the very beginning. What I would have done without you both, Goddess knows. I miss you girls' sweet kisses, & the scent of your fur. Well, dear, I thought you were pregnant at 9 yrs, for the first time. I was quite surprised... You started slowing down on walks, plus it was really warming up for May in AZ. We had a vet appt, & our vet said if we waited another week for your ultrasound, we might see puppies, & how many there were. A few days later, a Sat. morning, I came out with my coffee first thing, & checked on you. You sat by the back door, panting, & I thought, oh , maybe it's today, time for your puppies to be born. I had to work a few hours, so left you in the care of a friend. When I returned, still no puppies, yet, & you wanted only bits of ice/water, which were coming back up. Almost an hour later, I decided to take you to the emer-vet, & make sure there wasn't something wrong. You did NOT want to go... I don't blame you, so much pain you must have been in. Once there, they did their tests, & told me you were not pregnant, but you had some fluid filled sacs in your belly, were dehydrated, in a lot of pain. Some major kind of infection inside you, & offered to euthanize you. No ! I couldn't allow that, we had our reg. vet appt for Tues, just a few days. I wanted to bring you home, whatever meds/painkillers you needed, & thought you would be 'ok'. So, that's what we did. Barely got the first set of meds down you... you lay on the floor, panting, uncomfortable, unable to sleep (since 6am), moving to a new floor spot here & there. I was exhausted, lay down for a short nap. Woke around 2a, sat with you, rubbed you gently, gave you kisses, spoke with you; read you from a book for a bit. Lay down for a while next to you, to comfort you, prayed to Great Spirit to not let you suffer, keep hurting like this. I didn't know how we'd make it til Tues. Fell asleep again around 6:30 am, was awakened by a friend, "China's gone..." she said. It didn't compute. I stammered, but I was just awake with her, how did this happen so fast... ? Apr 28, 2011, you arrived at the Rainbow Bridge, my dear. Your infection had gone septic, & in hindsight, I'm glad you didn't suffer longer than that ~24 hrs. I couldn't bear it. Bless your heart~ I always thought Aja would be first to pass, & we'd have plenty of time to enjoy on our own. Did you ever really have me all to yourself ? As a wee little lassie pup, you won my heart, & this woman loves & honors you for all you are & were. Until we meet again... Namaste'