Dear Aja D'Elle,
Mama~Girl, I miss you so, terribly. It has been 3 mos since you crossed over, & I'm lost. I'm so very thankful we had 14 1/2 yrs together, love, you were & are amazing in my mind. Such a sweet, gentle soul.. the genteel lady, graceful, & loving almost everyone you met. The eternal greeter ! I remember that day I met you in Lawrence, KS, the college kids were trying to find you a home, & had locked their keys in their car, so I got to hold you... you fell asleep in my arms. Tiny lil black velvet girl, dark shiny eyes, little warm-wet nose... you slept with me later that night snuggled under my chin in bed. I was wrapped right around your wee paw, darlin. Then from the farm in KS, to KC, & North Carolina, where at 4, you got pregnant with the neighbor dog, & brought me your sweet daughter, China Blue, to love, too. You taught me so much about opening my heart, full throttle. And forgiveness, & unconditional love. My life has been so sweetly & beautifully, & irrevocably altered because of you two, my precious Girls ! We have been through SO many adventures together, on our journey, & you made it possible for me to make it through whatever it was that wasn't right at the time. I miss your bright, intelligent eyes, your telling barks, our snuggles in bed, holding & kissing you, your nails clicking on the floors, the scent of you - I liked to sniff your ears, b/c they smelled like 'home' to me... I had pretty much assumed you would 'go' first, but China paved your way a year ago. Then in Jan., I knew something was off with you; less energy, not eating as usual. In Feb. the vet did a CBC, & we had you on thyroid meds. In March, I had noticed the growth on your nose & forehead, & the vet did an xray to rule out cancer, but that determined what was indeed happening in your aging body. I just didn't want you to suffer needlessly, & we talked & cried a lot together, processing what was coming. Then my sister/your Auntie's visit from Chicago for 2 wks, when I left you in the care of vet-boarding for my first trip to the Grand Canyon. I had never boarded either of you girls, & it took me a few days to acclimate to the guilt of having done this to you at this critical time in your life. Please forgive my error in this decision - I would never want you to feel I had abandoned you... I asked Great Spirit/the Goddess to be with you, until I was back (barely 3 days), & for you not to pass alone, somewhere unfamiliar. You waited for me/us... We picked you up at boarding, & they carried you to the car on a stretcher. All the way home, I spoke softly with you, holding your paw, & reaching over to give you kisses, & smell your warm fur. Sweet Angel of mine, you passed less than 2 hrs after we got home. Several times I snuggled you, & spoke gently with you, but I didn't know your time was so imminent. I really wanted to just lay on your bed with you, & encircle you with my~self, loving you. The last time I came to check on you again, I saw that you were gone already. You were flying to the Rainbow Bridge & beyond, & China Blue was the first to greet you there, I'm certain ! It is a blessing to know you're not suffering anymore. Emotionally, I'm still in shock, especially with China's sudden passing last year. It's so lonely now, just me. I know I will bring other dog(s) into my life when I feel I'm ready; couldn't NOT. We shared a deep, soul connection , my love. When it is my turn one day, I know I will hear the thumping of a tail on the floor, & we can go dancing off through the meadows altogether at long last ! Goodbye my sweet baby~girl, I love you forever & beyond ~ <3 XOXOXO
Love,
Bekah